March 31, 2010

Day 7 Final Commitment- Road Trip Too (kinda)

5 days to do 7 days worth of work. 3 performances. One dress rehearsal. So many people to love and a year long commitment to wrap up. ACK!! Life is CRAZY right now. So lets get down to it.


October 5th Since Chris’ accident we have been blessed beyond measure to have the support team we have had. Most notably Lilli. She has held various members of our family through some crazy crazy times. We don’t exactly make easy standard choices as a family. It could have been so easy for her to judge our families ways, instead she got behind us, believed in us. She is like a member of our family, our OTHER Lilli.

October 7th I was halfway through this project and my edges were definitely fraying. I decided on October 8th to do a commitment which is not named, which I don’t divulge to you all... and I admit I have forgotten what it was! Perhaps as I read I will remember.

October 9th Oh my....I was having a really hard time. I was starting to worry about my weight loss. I admit that, like MANY womyn, I had ideas about my body having just a bit to much fat. I knew I was sexy, healthy, muscular and thin-ish but I was still no stranger to body image issues, I judged myself a lot. When I began loosing weight last summer I was actually quite thrilled. I liked being lighter, it made dancing more dynamic and I liked the way my clothes began to fit. I figured it was just the regular thing that happens every summer where I slim down. But by October I was beginning to realize I was dealing with something different all together.

October 11th I had a home again! We were about to do something that would bring much self judgement and beauty into my life. We were about to become an openly polyamorous family living together in community. This would have been tough at the the best of times...and these were not the best of times. I worked to stay optimistic though, my entries are obvious attempts to find the silver lining. Oh and while we are on the topic of my house, I want to say thank you to my mama. Life was SO crazy when she had finished renovating the house that there ended up being very little celebration of her hard work. I know mom how much you did, I am SO grateful, I just wasn’t very good at showing it. In fact I STILL haven’t made you the gift of appreciation I want to give you. Ah the free time I will have when I am done this project!

October 12th

I had forgotten I made this video. I loved watching it again. Maybe you will too. The thing is I want to add so many more photos, say thank you to so many more people...maybe I will make another video when this is all over.

October 15th I am nuts! LOL I can’t believe some of the stuff I posted! The hardest part about having posted this one was the fact that NO ONE COMMENTED for a L_O_N_G felt like bringing a huge 7 foot rabbit into a room and no one saying, “Hey what is with the rabbit?”. My lovely sister K.D. commented on the blog when I told her how hard it was to submit the entry, she left this:

“Definition of Priestess for Today's Times.
Priestesses honor the cycles and seasons of nature, and of life. They learn from, and work, with the natural rhythms of the Earth, Sun, Moon, and stars. They observe and value the relationships between Earth and Sky, nature and humanity.

In families and communities, priestesses bring awareness to the way change affects life by creating time and space to honor life passages. They create and often officiate ceremonies that recognize the transitions of birth, puberty, a new job, the loss of a job, marriage, divorce, menopause, elderhood, and death.

Priestesses may counsel and support others in times of crises, transition, healing, and creation. They may assist through their prayers, meditation, deep listening, or simply being present and bringing awareness and attentive witnessing to a situation.

A priestess brings the sacred into form by connecting to Divine energy in her creative pursuits such as dance, art, writing, music, theatre, ceremonies, rituals, and celebrations.

Deeply connected to her spirituality from the inside out, a priestess may also be a member of any religion or have connection to none. She may connect to the Divine in nature just as well as in any home, church, synagogue, or temple.

A priestess makes a direct connection to the Divine from within and can apply it to every area of life.

Bernice, here, we finally have a job-description. Thank you for sharing your beauty, in all your vulnerable truth... truly we can only know God, when we can be this way... open-hearted.

Love KD”

It feels so good to be seen, mirrored by people in my life who I admire. Thanks sister.

October 17th I love me. I really do. My time in California was always so incredibly rich. The work I did at the Tamalpa Institute was so nourishing for my soul. So nourishing. It helped me find myself. This entry was written after an amazing school weekend where we went out and stayed at Sea Ranch, where we danced with the ocean. When I do this work I am so in my power, centred like a gyroscope, only staying balanced by never quite being there, it is the addition of movement which makes the whole thing possible. If I forget how much I trust and believe in myself, remind me ok. Lately I have had a harder time seeing this.

As I enter into a commitment to “Listen” October 20th ...something I STILL have to remind myself to work on each and every day, I read about mine and Michael's trip to Port Townsend Washington and Victoria, BC. This trip was both ecstatic and paralysing. The details are unimportant, or more honestly I would say I want to keep them for myself, not share. I will say though that it changed me forever, there was so much magic, so much truth. We started out road tripping, which is one of the things I love to do more than anything in the world. Michael and I had such a great drive to Port Townsend, WA. Then we danced with Vinn, this was Michael’s first time, I wanted to share Vinn Marti’s work with him. Vinn...what can I say about Vinn and his work? Soul Motion is a mystical movement ministry. His work is essential for the world... and this is why. October 25th

From there we went to Victoria which was very challenging. Then we went home and I got sick...which rocks! Because it meant my entries were short ,so less reading for this weary commitment maker. This illness was where I really began to loose too much weight. November 2nd

Tomorrow’s entry will start with the painting of our new studio. We were so excited to have a studio and we had a blast painting. It makes me smile to know tomorrows entry will start with a day where there was so much hope and promise.

“What is one of your fondest memories?” is the question in 12 days journal #353

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