October 15, 2009

Day 8 Committed To Self- Devotion

I am feeling a little sheepish to admit I have never really read any Osho. Seems a staunch new ager like myself, really should have dedicated some time to this Indian mystic and spiritual teacher, luckily I no longer believe in “should”. It is only 9:30 in the morning and I am already making confessions. I might as well keep them coming.

Sexuality is a very important form of spiritual expression for me. Bhakti, active involvement in Divine worship, is the stream of yoga which I resonate with most, the one which comes naturally. I consider lovemaking to be Bhakti, sex can be the ultimate act of devotion to God. I feel more connected during lovemaking than I do participating in any other form of worship, even singing and dancing, which says a lot! I have waded through some Tantric readings, and am usually left with a feeling of befuddlement, the rules and information often seem contradictory, out of alignment with my experience. Reading for knowledge and understanding has long been a struggle for me, I am much more of a hands on sort of womyn, I learn by doing. In this case doing “it” is how I have come to understand God, and perhaps some form of Tantra. When I make love I hear things, understand things, come to know things, I suppose it could be called channelling. I become aware of what works to bring me closer and what makes the Divine harder to reach. In this way I have navigated my way towards an ability to orgasm repeatedly, in varied ways. My connection is such that I have had an orgasm from hearing poetry read, inhaling my partners breath, thinking of my partner,or simply being touched through clothing, to name just a few of my glorious experiences. To be clear orgasm is in not the destination, lovemaking is the point of love making, paradoxically though keeping this intention seems to increase the orgasms. They certainly are a delicious perk, one which I believe opens a portal, to what I don’t know, but I know it is God.

Lately I have stumbled across a lot of ideas about sexuality which I resonate with. Michael is reading The Passionate Marriage,by David Schnarch, he has been reading me bits and pieces from its pages. What he reads to me is often information I already know, I don’t know how I know it, I just do. Like the idea that having an orgasm with my eyes open, looking with full reveal into my partners eyes can bring ecstasy and connection from allowing myself to be completely seen and that this will flow over into the rest of my relationship, allowing me to find healing through lovemaking. I knew this without knowing I knew it, something that David himself says is rare, and wonderful for those of us who are blessed to have found it.

This morning I was sent this quote of Osho’s by my friend KD:

“People are against me because I'm telling people how to love. I'm telling people how to love so deeply that love itself becomes your religion - that your woman one day disappears and you find God there; that your man one day disappears and you find God there; that one day, in deep communion, in deep orgasmic experience, in that ecstasy, for a moment you both disappear and there is only God and nothing else.

You have been taught down the ages to be against sex and that has made you very sexual. That's what has happened to the whole humanity: repressed sex has become the obsession.

People think I am teaching sexuality? I am teaching transcendence.


Remember, there is no need to be afraid of women, no need to be afraid of men. We are all alike, the same God. We have to learn how to love each other. We have to come closer to each other because that is the only way to come close to God. Love is one of the greatest doors to God, just as awareness is another. I teach you both: a loving awareness, a conscious love. And with this you will become integrated, you will attain individuation. - Osho”

Never were truer words spoken.

These words of Osho’s describe how I make love; knowing that my partner IS God, IS me, that WE are a beautiful manifestation of God, of ALL, in a glorious act of devotion. I have been asked what my secret is, how I do what I do in the act of making love, how I find such ecstasy. My secret is, Bhakti. A secret I want to share, have it be a secret no more, that making love with complete devotion is how I have attained glorious fulfillment within my soul, spirit, mind and body. Some others may have found this through toys, techniques, positions, rules, and I am so happy for anyone who is satisfied and fulfilled. I choose transcendence instead.

There is still plenty left to learn, I certainly don’t have all the answers, which is delightful and exciting! I am committed to fully accepting my sexuality and supporting others to do the same. I know that this is part of my calling, my reason for being here this time around.

My God, I can’t believe I am going to submit this, I am blushing at the idea. Truth, truth, and more truth...this is what I am here to do.....(clicking “Send to Blog” on my MacJournal blog program)


“How do you believe a person attains sexual fulfillment?” is the question in 12 days journal #186. I can’t wait for this one to return.


  1. Definition of Priestess for Today's Times.
    Priestesses honor the cycles and seasons of nature, and of life. They learn from, and work, with the natural rhythms of the Earth, Sun, Moon, and stars. They observe and value the relationships between Earth and Sky, nature and humanity.

    In families and communities, priestesses bring awareness to the way change affects life by creating time and space to honor life passages. They create and often officiate ceremonies that recognize the transitions of birth, puberty, a new job, the loss of a job, marriage, divorce, menopause, elderhood, and death.

    Priestesses may counsel and support others in times of crises, transition, healing, and creation. They may assist through their prayers, meditation, deep listening, or simply being present and bringing awareness and attentive witnessing to a situation.

    A priestess brings the sacred into form by connecting to Divine energy in her creative pursuits such as dance, art, writing, music, theatre, ceremonies, rituals, and celebrations.

    Deeply connected to her spirituality from the inside out, a priestess may also be a member of any religion or have connection to none. She may connect to the Divine in nature just as well as in any home, church, synagogue, or temple.

    A priestess makes a direct connection to the Divine from within and can apply it to every area of life.

    Bernice, here, we finally have a job-description. Thank you for sharing your beauty, in all your vulnerable truth... truly we can only know God, when we can be this way... open-hearted.

    Love KD

  2. Perfect...you are perfect, I am perfect, we are perfect....ahhh, my sister.

    I love you KD

    all ways,

  3. One of the reasons I follow your blog, Bernice, is because our lives really seem to be running parallel to one another's. Not our circumstances or situations, but our spiritual lives, our "personal growth" lives. Quite often I will read and it will be like you've been reading my mind or something...then I'll check the date on the post, look up at my calendar, and it will be uncanny. I checked the date on this one and smiled...had a huge, long conversation with a friend about this EXACT subject within days of the date of this entry. LOL.

    I will only add two things here. (1) I don't know at what period of time Osho wrote that, but I think what describes is fully possible with same-sex partners. His writing doesn't seem to include them, but it may be he wrote that many decades/centuries/whathaveyou ago.

    (2) I don't believe that a partner is necessary to experience transcendental sex. If God is within each of us, well, that's all you really need, isn't it, then? Yes, there are perks to having a partner, but no, one is NOT inhibited (or prohibited) from achieving that transcendence simply because they are "flying solo." There's something really, really amazing about loving one's self that deeply.

  4. For the first time in my life I have realized and am realizing every day that sex isn't the act I engage in to beat the ever loving shit out of myself and allow all of my self denigrating to come to the surface. Sex is loving me, loving another and loving god.