March 3, 2010

Day 3 Lovin Nelson- Ugh

I haven’t been this angry, frustrated or hurt for a long time now. I mean I have felt these things, but not in a way which overwhelms me like I am now. I hate feeling like this, it takes up so much energy. Time that could be spent enjoying life is wasted. I can feel the muscles in my face, how I am holding my mouth. I don’t like the way my face looks when I feel this way. YUCK!!!! Generally I feel that I can navigate situations that bring on these feelings pretty well, not let it take me over. I bounce back into appreciation fairly easily, remarkably easily actually. But throw in the cocktail of circumstances that I am experiencing this morning and I am left feeling like I am running in a vat of molasses, going nowhere, out of ideas about how to change this dynamic that exists. I feel defeated, like giving up.

I do have faith that by the time I write again that I will have found resolution on this, will be in the love soup and out of the molasses funk.

“What ongoing issue in your life do you long to find resolution for?” is the question in 12 days journal #325

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