July 28, 2010

Day 6- For What Good?

A friend and faithful supporter of this blog asked me this on facebook:

"And where have you been? Missed u :-)"

Where I have been is trying to sort out what the hell to do with my life. I haven’t read the blog for months, I haven't thought much about it, hadn’t thought to go read it till yesterday. I didn’t find anything new which is, I suppose, because I hadn’t written and submitted anything to read ....Hmmm I wonder if there is a connection?

I am floating free. With little to hold me down I have been travelling, spending time with my precious children who definitely lost some of my focus during the project. I am enjoying the ease of not living in blog land with my partners, man did it test our relationships, things were just so out there in the open. I know I am not telling you anything you didn’t know or at least suspect. I was so deep in it though, so blind to the water in which I swam. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t take it back; I grew from doing this work, in ways I never would have imagined at the outset. In the end all my relationships are far better off. It is more that I didn’t see how the pace of my awakening to myself was effecting those around me, constantly getting used to my next lesson, my next entry, my next commitment, none of which they had much say in. My family is amazing, truly amazing.

Thank you Chris, Lily, Ayla, Rosy, Michael.... I want you to know I thought very hard about how to order your names and decided random was my best bet.

So where have I been? Nowhere and Everywhere. I have travelled but always close to home. I went to rehearsal yesterday. I am performing with the Arise Dance Troupe in the Finale for the Labyrinth at Shambala. Here in the Kootenays we throw Canada’s Largest Electronic Music Festival in the middle of a forest with a river running through it. I live in Heaven so I have been sticking close to home and enjoying myself.... and trying to figure out what the hell to do with my life...any ideas?

(Arrise Dance Troupe Performance at Shambala 2010)

I feel like asking a question, for old times sake.

“For what good?” is the question. It is a little vague, but that is why I like it. Ask yourself for “For what good?” and then just see where your mind goes, notice it because it means something, but don’t analyse it, just notice it. Then ask again “For what Good?”, and again and again..... after the 12th to 50th time things will get juicy. That is where you might want to start writing it down. I look forward to reading the answers :oD