Now just in case it is coming across that I am fresh out of break up and hitting the “Goddess Train” in a backlash towards the more masculine of our species, this is not the case. I still love the men of our species AND I am NOT fresh out of break up. Michael and I are talking, working, playing. A new beginning with no expectation, just being in the moment and letting our trust in one another to ask for what we want, and talk about how we feel drive where we go next. Relationship self determination.
Back to my sisters. Angela is a sister who I have never met but who has followed me through this project, she has held my hand on this journey. She once commented that I always seemed to be writing about something specifically in her life. Then yesterday she commented about her 2 near death experiences. This came the same day that I fully began to understand the importance of my own near death experience, how it has shaped me. I am not talking about fear as I was a few days ago, but faith.
It was a near drowning, and it went largely unnoticed by anyone in my family because of the circumstances in which it happened. It was traumatic as you might imagine, but there was another side to it, a beautiful side. There is a picture in my mind that I still see of the water turning sunlight into rainbows right before my eyes, of the texture of the bark on the trees which were preventing me from reaching air. This moment brought me faith, so much faith in beauty; not the least of which was knowing that if in that moment I could find beauty it would be mine to access always.
“What happens when you die?” is the question in 12 days journal #345
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