December 25, 2009

Day 5 Gift of Presence- Under My Tree

You know something I really love about my children? How on Christmas they seem more interested in giving gifts than receiving them. They did scream out in delight when they got one of their collective gift, one I can’t tell you about because one member of our family, Mr. Michael Sheely, hasn’t seen it yet and I have been sworn to secrecy. For the most part though they are more interested in giving, watching other get pleasure from their careful selection or creation, than they are in receiving. Perhaps because they know giving in receiving. Such wise and wonderful little beings they are.

I received many gifts; feathers earrings from Lily, a pair of handmade leg-warmers from Rose, a journal and hair stick from Ayla, the perfect red coral earrings from Christopher, a book of love poetry from Michael and a felted wristband from Kelly, plus lots of other wondrous things from other people who love me, lots of personal little things, chosen just for me. I am so loved.

This year I have also given an amazing gift to myself. In a little over 3 months, I will have a year of my life documented. Do you know I almost never go back and read what I have written? As soon as I post an entry it drops out of my mind. Essentially in 3 months I will have an unopened, neatly wrapped gift of one whole years worth of entries, one entry for each and every day.

And what a year to have chosen! So much has happened in the last 3 years of my life. They say it takes 7 years to completely regenerate ones body. It has taken me a little over 3 years to regenerate, reconfigure, reconstitute, my soul. There were times I swore the growth was to fast, that it was pushing me over the edge, especially in the last 6 months. Emerging from my chrysalis, sticky winged, bones created for flight stretching out for the first time, this has been painful at times, moments of pain spread across a back drop of bliss. This journey of mine, this spiritual awakening, is documented and waiting for me when the time comes. When I am able and open to read it, my herstory is waiting for me. What a glorious gift of self awareness, what care I have given myself.

In my stocking I received a tiny bindi from Chrissy, it is in the shape of a butterfly. It was meant as a small decorative token, given to me by one of my Kings, in appreciation of me, to say “I see you, see what you are going through”. Thank you Chrissy, for seeing me, for supporting me. I will wear my butterfly bindi on New Years Eve while I am dancing with my other King, the other one who sees me, supports me and loves me. Thank you Baby.


Merry Christmas to all you who celebrate. Merry Merry day to those of you who don’t.

“Is there a gift you have received in your life that stands out?” is the question in 12 days journal # 257

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