Michael and I have been having a hard time lately. There is so much love between us, yet this doesn’t seem to be stopping us from struggling to love each other the way we deserve to be loved. This afternoon I got out of school to find 4 messages from him on my cell, sweet wonderful messages filled with love. Love is not always easy, commitment can be difficult when things get really hard. Sometimes walking away is so darn appealing, and I have spent many a day lately wanting to run away. The voice recorded on my phone melted my heart and reminded me just how much I love this man who is committed, and determined, and strives to live in his highest integrity. We recommitted to each other today, spoke of our love, dedicated ourselves to our magic. I want you all to know this, I ask you to stand in witness. I can not know what the future holds, but right now I am commitment to presence so it doesn’t really matter. In this present moment I believe in the magic that brought us together. In this present moment I am so filled with love and faith that my family is flourishing, all seven of us.
I am on a plane going home for Solstice which happens at exactly 5:49 on the 21st. Tomorrow will be winter. Tomorrow Michael and I will have seen 4 seasons as a couple. It will also mark 17 times that the sun has been born again while Chris and I have been lovers and best friends. Seventeen years of growing and loving with a man who trusts me, accepts me, supports me, believes in me, and honours me. So on this last day of Autumn I give thanks for all the love I have in my life and for the two beautiful men I share this life with. It may be unorthodox, and certainly takes a lot of dedication, but it is worth it. I am so very blessed.
“What blessings do you have in your life?” is the question in
12 day journal #252
Hahaha! This is SO not the day to ask me that question. It seems like way more struggle and hardship than blessings at the moment. I'm sure things will be brighter at some point but I'm just not seeing it now.
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