January 15, 2010

Day 4 Meditation- Trauma

Ugh. I am way behind again. I was going to give you a couple of sentences and work on editing the posts I have yet to submit...but then something happened, as it always does. Something always happens of this I can always be sure.

I am in San Rafael again, it is easy to get off the freeway here. There are places to eat, places to get tea and use the net, shops to peruse when I need something mindless. I was on my way to one of my usual spots when I saw a band setting up in a bar. I asked if they had WiFi and here I am listening to live music while writing this. Art begets art.

We are learning how to deal with clients who have experienced and are dealing with trauma in class this week. Ugh. Such important work, such great information, if only I could get past being so triggered by the content, get past judging myself for not being “over it”. I understand the principles behind the “wounded healer”, that those who have had experiential learning are more likely to really be able to relate to those who have had a similar experience. AND it can be really difficult not to slip back into my OWN experiences, which can send me reeling. I understand the principles to modulating this, have practised them, even taught them to others but I have to admit I still get thrown over my own stress threshold and become ineffective. I suppose it is a good thing I am still in the learning phase...I need to cut myself some slack. Mostly I just need to remember that today is just one day, one day filled with a whole lot of information about a topic which is very close to my heart and experience, that what I need is to self care. I called up a friend who gives massage, healing touch would be helpful. He wasn’t around. Ok next step. Food! Grounding nourishing food, and this is where I am at right now. I am going to stop writing, listen to the Caribbean band, watch a group of beautiful performs ooze love and eat sweet potato fries. Then go home to K.D’s place...and meditate.

(searched “trauma” on Google images and got this, not sure what it has to do with trauma but it is sure neat!)

“Have you experienced trauma?” is the question in 12 days journal #278

1 comment:

  1. I'd love to be able to answer "no" to that question, but I can't. What doesn't destroy me only makes me stronger, right?