May 31, 2009

Day 3 Asking For Help- Passion

My dear friend Vita, from across the planet, sent me the question; “How do you live your passion?” for 12 days journal # 48, along with this answer:

“I dance every day. i listen to shells on the beach when they talk to me. i smile at strangers. i dress like the sexy copperflame that i am. i salute all living animate and inanimate objects, believing that everything has a consciousness. i laugh with the magpies and flirt with the sun. I insist on the best, in food, company, friends, lovers, surroundings and name a few.
i live to love.

Vita is most definitely a sexy copperflame! I am not surprised that she would ask a question about passion. It seems to me that passion is her passion. We have this in common. Passion is my passion. In order to live my passion, I love passionately and I write passionately.

Usually that is. Today I feel dried up. I have sat with this damn computer on my lap for hours now, trying to come up with something entertaining? Poignant? Humorous? Vaguely interesting? I feel empty and uncomfortable. I have been eating sugar to try and dumb down the discomfort. Now I have a swollen, painful belly along with my original discomfort.

So if I live my passion, which is passion, by living passionately, does this mean I completely disappear when my passion disappears? I should write THAT question in a journal!

My friend Kelly assures me it is not a lack of passion that is preventing me from writing, it is an overabundance, a bottleneck. I can see this. So what do I do with this over abundance? Where do I put it if I can’t get it onto the page? If I can’t put this passion in the places it so badly wants to live? What happens when the way I want to express my passion, the way I want to feel passion, is no longer an option?

Yes, I think Kelly is right, there is no lack of passion, just a bottleneck, which is slowing the flow to a drip drip drip and creating an uncomfortable bloat. Which it is threatening to explode. Hopefully all over the page so that I have something to share with you tomorrow.


  1. This is such a good question. I'm not sure how I live my passion. I recently just started to feel passion again. I went through a period of about a year and a half where I literally did not feel any passion. My brain injury prevented me from feeling strongly about anything. At the time it was just the way things were, but now that scares the shit out of me. I realize now that I was living in a state of indifference. I remember hearing once that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference (I believe that you have even quoted that in your blog!!!!). Living with indifference is horrible. There are no highs or lows, just a disinterest in life. So now I live my passion by living my life. I allow myself to feel whatever it is I am feeling. I am still in the baby steps of passion (sometimes I don't think I'm worth feeling passion), but everyday I can feel myself tapping into the fire of passion more and more.

  2. I had to go out singing, I had to sing Oasis, I didn't really care what anyone thought. I have to go to the beach frequently. That's about the extent of my passion these days. I also have to play piano, however inadequately, and it seems I have to write stuff sometimes. And I have to go out dancing, even though it's been kinda painful these days. Hey, I'm passionate about more than I thought. This is good news.

  3. Just by trying to be authentic, speak my truth, listen to my heart, and live in the moment, fully appreciating each moment.