May 2, 2009

Day 10 Open Heart Letter- Home again

I am sitting in the Spokane airport. I am suppose to be in Marin by now, but I missed my earlier flight. As I sit here I wonder if I missed the flight on purpose, if I am delaying this trip just a few hours more. I LOVE going to California, for so many reasons. It was my sanctuary for many many months. I am completely convinced that Chris’ injury is a blessing, but there were days when it was just too overwhelming. Having another home to go to, where responsibilities were few was welcome medicine. I have had a few homes in the Bay area. At first I stayed with a dear friend out in Walnut Creek, she opened her heart and her home to me despite this not being her usual way. She tells me I made it easy. I then began to stay with another friend in Mill Valley, he recently moved to Salt Lake City, and was the recipient of 12 day Journal #16. Since October of 2008 I have stayed out in Woodacre. Woodacre is how I always imagined Northern California to be, long before I ever visited. Towering redwoods, roads wind through hodge podge neighbourhoods filled with quaint homes oozing soul. The opposite to the kitch American suburb. Trails out my back door and only an 8 minute drive to Fairfax. A full service laid back community with all the amenities I could ever want. All this was second though to the comfort of coming home to the friend who shared this space with me. It felt for a long while like I had two homes. But as is the way of the world, things change, circumstances change. Change is a good thing, I know this. I have no doubts that there are many more homes and experiences for me on the horizon. I sit here in Spokane watching people que up to board our plane to California and know I am about to go and meet this change. I am ready....kinda. I am also tired and long to know the bed I sleep in tonight, to know exactly where I am going, to be greeted by an old friend who will understand. I long to go home again.

So today in honour of “home“ I send something back to Canada to my home there. To my 3 little wonders who make my home messy, and loud and such a comfortable place to be. I love my children so very much. They amaze, astound and inspire me. I thank god everyday for choosing me to raise them, what an honour and wild ride it has been. I will be sending them 12 days journal # 19. They are only vaguely aware of the 12 days experiment. They know I have been writing in little journals, Rose has seen me drop one at the top of Pulpit rock. But I have not formally introduced them to my plans for the next 300+ days. This feels like a fun way to include them. For me it is a way to remind myself of how blessed I am to have so many places in this world where I am welcome, places that if only for a night I can call home. Not everyone is as fortunate as I am. The question in todays journal reads, ”What do you love about your home?“

1 comment:

  1. I love that I have created a safe space for me and the kids. I love that it is so safe and comfortable and relaxed and welcoming, that others have told me how much they love to be here as well.