June 19, 2009

Day 10 Karma Yoga- Reality

As I sat this morning drinking coffee, eating strawberries and yoghurt, my mind again turned to what the heck I was going to do for Karma yoga? School ran for 10 1/2 hours today with a short break for lunch and dinner. I was wondering when I would find the time. This is when a passer-by commented on how yummy my strawberries looked. I offered her one. She politely refused. I persisted. After only a second attempt to convince, she acquiesced. I told her to take the one that looked the most delicious. She thanked me and walked away happy, biting into the crisp juicy berry. Before my mind could return to my karma yoga I noticed a womyn at the inside of the door of the cafe. I could see through the glass that she had her hands full, I got up to open the door. She too thanked me and walked away smiling. I decided that drastic times called for drastic measures. I took a 5 dollar bill inside and asked the womyn behind the counter to use it to cover the next customers coffee, asked her to put the change in the tip jar. She looked a little confused, but then smiled and agreed. I stayed to watch through the window but just as the transaction was happening a womyn with a stroller, occupied by a beautiful curly haired little girl, arrived, I held open the door for her. She said, “Thank you, you know with the state of the world today nobody does stuff like that anymore!” This puzzled me. I mean, I understand what she meant, but I just don’t see things that way. I am part of the state of this world and all I was concerned with this morning was how to get in my good deed for the day! I refuse to believe I am the only one, in fact I KNOW I am not. Don’t all the wonderful, magical, evolutionary things that go on every day count toward the “state of the world”? Yes, the economy is struggling, but we are more than an economy. We have been through this before. This “state of the world” is something I have been hearing about since before I could remember. I do see the tough stuff, but what of the immense beauty?

I thought of this as I moved through an exercise later in class. The score was to pick three body parts. One with which I experience ”confrontation“, I chose my ribcage. Next came my shoulder blades which I used to “release”, and finally my legs which I used to “change”. This is part of a 5 part process and is all a little hard to explain. Instead here is the piece of instinctive poetic writing which I scribbled down as soon as I had finished dancing. It is whimsical, and light, unlike most of the writing that comes from this therapeutic exercise. I wanted to share it with you.

”The state of the world today“

I have been hearing about this state since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I have grappled for as long as I can remember, to figure out what this state is? But like sand, which is so hard to see grain by grain, it jumbles together and appears fluid, ever shifting. And there must be something wrong with me, because to me, well...I couldn’t ever see what the trouble was? Water without the liquid, solid without the rigidity. So as a child I would sit on my hands, lips pursed and not tell, for fear of being told that I must change my mind. My secret, the one I knew I MUST keep was that I thought this state was so very very BEAUTIFUL!

As I grew my limitations were lifted. I began to swim...SWIM. In the fluidity of the ridgeless solid. I discovered so many footholds, stepping stones and leg-ups! Of course there were alligators too, but eventually we made friends and when they were not grumpy or vengeful they allowed me to pass. You know why? Well I do! It was because I understood the solid water in which they too did SWIM.

They knew my job was to scout, to go ahead and take a look at the state of the world which is coming. Can I tell you a secret? It is exactly the same, always has been, always will be..... and it is so very very BEAUTIFUL!

I was weary after class. I came into the room of the new place where I am staying and found a card on my friends altar. It said

”I commit myself to acting from the awareness that I am 100% the source of my reality“

I thought back to my story, the comment of the womyn with the stroller, and all the smiling faces that walked away from me at the cafe this morning. I decided I really like the reality I have created for myself.

”Do you believe you create you own reality? is the question in 12 days journal #67. A journal I will take with me tomorrow to the top on Mt, Tamalpais, for Planetary Dance, an event to celebrate the summer solstice. LONG LIVE THE SUN!!

1 comment:

  1. For the most part, yes, I do believe that I create my own reality. I'm still learning just how powerful this belief makes me.

    But I also agree with the woman who commented about the state of the world. As much as I would like to create a better reality, and can, there are still things that are beyond my control. Other people are all out there making their own choices and controlling--either consciously or usually UNconsciously--THEIR own realities and, unfortunately, sometimes the not-so-pleasant realities they create for themselves can spill over onto the rest of us. Of course, it can also happen the other way around, where my positive reality can help uplift and encourage someone else.

    For me, one of the biggest lessons in life that I have--and am still--learning is the difference between what I can and can't control in life. I do believe that there is more within my grasp than I ever thought possible, which is WONDERFUL, but I've also learned the hard way that other people cannot be controlled (which is generally a GOOD thing...we all need to be free to choose our own paths) and there's nothing I can do about that. That also helps my own reality, though...I'm free to concentrate on what I can control, my own life, reality, destiny, instead of spinning my wheels trying to control others, you know? There's more freedom in that than I ever imagined!

    So yes, I do believe that I create my own reality, but I also get what that woman was saying, as it is unfortuantely that so many people choose such negative realities and those realities negatively affect me and mine at times. I hope this makes sense...coffee hasn't completely kicked in yet. LOL.