June 3, 2009

Day 6 Asking For Help- Ask and You Shall Receive!

Today I have received so much help that I won’t even be writing my own entry! The following diatribe comes to me from my friend Kevin. I don’t know that he actually asked a question but he sure as hell gave me an answer! So I will provide the question which will grace the inside cover of 12 days journal #51, the question I believe Kevin was trying to answer is “How do you encourage others to question the status quo?”

A little back ground on my friend Kevin. He is a bit of a mans man. Wears your standard jeans and button up nearly everyday, along with a worn and stained baseball cap with a bottle opener in the brim. Some might even say he looks a little like a redneck. He is married, and has two children from a previous union. He has a suit and tie job which has him travelling round a fair bit. He dabbles in photography, and delivers pizzas for a buddy when his delivery boy can’t make it in. He is a a regular guy who now and then shaves down his entire body, puts on make up, hose and a pair of artificial breast to make an appearance as Traci Taboo, our local celebrity cross-dresser. Bet you didn’t see that coming!

Here is a note he sent to me via facebook after a conversation over coffee where I explained this project to him :


“Traci sent you a message.

Subject: 12 days 2 inspire​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

.. like 12 days of the Migraine... my god !!!!
Ok.. so ponderment has occurred thanks to your well placed seed of inquisition.
A sprout has grown forth from this kernel. A small conception, a bud, an ovum. Far from a plantation of flowing words and whispering thoughts.

Much of my inner energy guides me to the Traci topic as a contribution for fodder. My willingness to batter society with unorthodox views and corkscrew conclusions is really the fuel that pushed the Traci creature to its position today, and small opportunities to do such.
The "Shock Value" as I called it.
Heavy underlining of "tolerance" - not so much acceptance, but not to beat things to death you don't understand. It escalates for some to fear and that's where violence enters the painting of life around us.
My biggest puzzle is how.. or perhaps why? has Traci been regarded with seemingly friendly arms.
I am not speaking of the assumptions one might make about being gay, a drag queens etc. therefore accepted.
I believe there is a society program or knee jerk reaction if you will, that many first draw upon meeting me. Must be gay! This is a natural conclusion to draw without any thought process behind what you see. Asking NO questions. But, the inquiring mind might pose a different conclusion A conclusion without the proper answers or worse, provides more puzzling questions and drawing confusion.
The world is coming to grips that there is homosexuality and the battle against it is futile as no-one can change anyone. So with that said, how can I incorporate a question about this alter-ego without sounding egotistical.
Why am I so popular?
I understand that Traci Taboo is known. I have worked to be known and hopefully is associated with positive things in life and produces laughter and smiles.
My personal reward has been meeting many, many interesting and great people, some of which have become friends *you included*. Could I have met so many without wearing a skirt and heels? Doubtful !
Traci is not so much a political or media statement to get everyone to understand that life is rich in depth and it takes many things to make the world go round. But, if a situation occurred that was drastic enough, I think Traci could be used to draw attention to a large issue. Then, one day, I may feel compelled to step up and say HEY!!!
It really is all about fun and being yourself. Those perhaps are shallow or simple thoughts but profound none the less. Keep life simple, it ain't complicated shit.
Society reactions for me has been the most entertaining and educational. Having fake nails, lovely and rather blatantly womanizing has been a definite surprise to many who catch me wearing them. Why? Cause Im a man? This reaction would not run parallel if I wear a woman. I might even get compliments from strangers on my nails.
Or having painted toes for example is a "lesser feminine" gesture and therefore; a gay man would only do such a thing? Utterly Ridiculous! Most gay men have done neither to my understanding.
So, I recognize a gap between reality and societies belief.

So, my exposure to many (mostly gentlemen) who actively crossdress(CD) has taught me that society maybe more willing to accept, not embrace, but to drop the calumny, mockery and consternation that one could easily see occur 10+ years ago. But, the women in the lives of these CD's are for the most part struggling with the concept of why men have this urge. I can’t say I understand either. No where near could I fathom this inner drive and passion to dress feminine as often as possible. I just simple tolerate and have graduated to acceptance as many of these men are decent people. Their choice of clothing is different than mine. In turn, it has been curious that I am misunderstood and more deeply, "not" understood by those in the CD community. I am the puzzle to them as much as they are to me, yet we are both men dressed as women. There is comedy there I know it...

Many of these men who feel the need to CD, are a puzzle to me. All women's clothes, beyond knee socks and Lululemon I guess, are for the most part torture devices to wear. The perpetual vanity of makeup, the art of looking hot, my god what a pain in the arse it is.
Don't women crossdress all the time? Pants? Suits? Is there a defined criteria for women wearing men's clothes? Is that OMG !crossdressing or it just cute/sexy/sassy?
These men who CD have a monstrous and crippling fear to be out in public, yet ! ...the urge to enter the public arena in full drag is incredibly strong. Much like a bug to a light, or the bug-zapper light, might be a nice metaphor to have. Being "caught" would be like death to these men.
So, would it be an interesting question then :

Is there a measurable acceptance in society for a man to wear a skirt, heels and makeup out for dinner at a restaurant, to a movie, a coffee shop or just a stroll down the street?
Or maybe reword the question as to- Why is it opposed?
Are you(men) scared to dress as a woman for a day? weekend? a week?
Scared ? Really?? Why do so many dress as women for Halloween??
If so, why are you scared? Who is it harming? or is it the backlash from a society that creates harm to the individual?
Is this Taboo?? Anyways...

Now I want to hit a mall or city and try to gauge reactions of the public on a non-comical approach. LOL !! The evil side of me...HA! Trying to get Traci hired would be an interesting exercise. Would I ever get an interview? Seriously? Would I?
Is there something here?
Is this getting interesting?”

Very interesting Kevin, very interesting!

1 comment:

  1. I encourage people to research things, to try to think of things from different perspective than their own, try to make a connection between the thing they don't question with the thing that they do and show that it's all the same.

    Thank you, Kevin, for sharing Traci with me. :-)