June 4, 2009

Day 7 Asking For Help- It's a Wonderful Life

Sent to me a couple of days ago:

“How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”

361.9 cubic centimeters of wood every day

Or, maybe more applicable.

“What is a challenge you have with friends?”

A challenge I have with friends is telling them what I need.  For example, I wonder if I make a positive difference in the lives of people around me.  It would be nice if I had the courage to ask.  Sometimes I wish I had an "Its a Wonderful Life" moment where I can see the impact I have on those around me.  However, I myself have been known to forget/neglect to tell people what a difference they make in my life.  I am also sometimes afraid of telling people how they have made a positive impact on my life.  

Does the question and answer make sense?   The answer was much easier than the question.  Well, not really.  There were heavy revisions to get it to make sense.


Well “Karl”. Let me tell you what a difference you make in MY life. When you play with my kids because you can see I have something going on and want to give me the space to work through it, it makes a difference! When you chop wood to heat my house it makes a difference. When you tell me I look beautiful, or notice when I am having a hard day, it makes a difference. You are one hell of a friend! I am not exactly sure what a “It’s a Wonderful Life” moment would look like, I have never seen the show, but if it means me dressing up in a 50’s get up and dawning a bee hive I will do it! My kids adore you, which means to me that your heart is pure, they are wonderfully intuitive human beings, THEY know what a difference you make. Every family should be so lucky as to have a “Karl” show up and help out like you do. Thank you for all you do. I hope that when you recieve 12 days journal #52, that you can now modify your answer to the question, “What is a challenge you have with friends?”. Perhaps your new answer can be “She stays in her room the whole time I am visiting, writing in her gosh darn blog! I never get to talk to her any more!”


  1. The challenge I have is trusting them, not that any of my friends are untrustworthy, but one day, many years ago, all my friends turned against me and although I have made a lot of progress, it is still hard to get past what was put in place on that day. Even as I write this it seems obvious that I just give that up and I have, and I will more so, the cost of constantly being on guard is too great. I love my friends but I still have this nagging uncertainty which keeps a distance between me and them that is greater than I really want.

  2. Going back to the love language thing. My challenge with friends is that I choose friends with full, busy lives, which makes me happy for them, but which sometimes means I don't get to spend as much time with them as I would like. It is a challenge for me to ask for their time...I feel like I am intruding, or like I am adding one more responsibility to their plate and they will come to resent it.

    But really, a 5-minute phone call can take me a long way until the next time we can get together and really hang for awhile. I need to do better at making this clear to them. I know they love me and would probably be happy and relieved that 5 minutes now and then would be all it takes to nurture our relationship.