Wow...I am physically and emotionally spent! I have danced for 8 days straight, karma yoga-ed for 12 now, Tamalpa-ed for 5 and have been away from my kids for 9. At the end of our school day I helped my lovely, talented, friend Eu clean the studio. She works for the Tamalpa Institute and cleaning up after our class is part of her job. It was very cathartic to sweep the dance floor that I had lay my feet, sweat and stories upon for the last 5 days. So many metaphors in sweeping up what has now past. This was my karma yoga for today. I would say my last ever, since this commitment is done, but this commitment has taught me something pretty wonderful about myself. I help out a lot. I could have pulled from any number of things I did in a day to fulfill my karma yoga commitment, many never even got mentioned on the blog. This at a very busy time where I felt like I wasn’t doing as much as I usually do. I am proud of this, really proud. A big part of why I do it is that it connects me to people, and human connection is the thing that most feeds my soul.
“How important is human connection to you?”, is the question in 12 days journal #69. I will be sending it to my friend and teacher Maria-Luisa. She was the first ever to comment on my blog, and helped me with the “What is the score?” section. We sat in circle many times in the last few days, she is a shining light.
At the end of class today, we were to somehow sum up our experiences from the last week. We could do so with a drawing, a poetic writing or a movement piece. As I sit here, completely overwhelmed by the enormity, the shear blissful abundance of my life. I don’t know how to adequately write what I feel, am too tired to draw a picture, and dancing for you is not an option...or is it?
Imagine me standing before you all, eyes cast down, palms facing out. My arms slowly begin to rise, palms turning inward, forming right angles at the elbow, where the movement is initiated from. My chest begins to press out, proud, and I stand like a flamenco dancer poised for the song to begin, my head is now tilted slightly to the left. As the beat begins, with Latin flavour which I can not name, my hands rise, palms again turn up and come together in a pose of offering, in front of my heart. From here I move in a sultry twisting of hips and legs, shoulder-blades pinched together, arms snaking, eyes open but not focused. I dance my soul out of my heart and show you all just how blessed I feel to have this life, to have you who is reading, even if we have never met, to have this moment right now, and then another, and another, and another....
This dance is my entry for today, a gift to you, a gift for me.
See you tomorrow. With a new commitment.
I tend to put a big-time qualifier on the statement that human connection is really important to me. To me, it's more about quality than quantity. Spending time with people who are very negative saps my energy and brings me down; spending time with people who are positive feeds my soul and spirit and increases my happiness. I could spend time with positive people and people I click with and never get tired of it. When around too many negative people, however, it drains me and makes me want to retreat and be alone to recharge and sort of cleanse myself of the negativity. Hope this makes sense! It's after my bedtime... :-)
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