Being grown up can mean letting go of what we want short term in order to get what we want in a grander sense, the big picture. I never use to understand parents who would allow their children to leave home and live on the streets, I still get anxiety at the idea of this dynamic playing out in our family. I now can understand better though. I understand that letting someone go because I love them, is a way of standing ground for both of us. To hold my boundaries and say “I will not tolerate being treated this way” and I do this for me AND for them, is true deep commitment love. I do this so that you will know I LOVE YOU. Tough love. Generally I am more of the mushy huggy gooey love kinda girl, doing the tough love thing goes again my natural inclination, I want to save, care take, enable.
No, I don’t think anyone is leaving, at least I hope not.
“What does being ‘grown up’ mean to you?” is the question in 12 days journal #216
Nosce te ipsum.
ReplyDeleteBut it also depends on the context. If your saying it from a place of exasperation, look at your motives, your subconcious desires.
I see a huge difference between letting a child go to live on the streets and letting another adult go, though. I can't imagine any kind of boundary I would set that make it ok for me to put my own child out on the streets. Maybe, for me, knowing when to stand my ground, and when to compromise, and how to choose my battles carefully is what being "grown up" means to me. In which case, I'm probably not as "grown up" as I should be. LOL.
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