Day 1 Just Breathe- Jerk and Dancing babies

God...sometimes I am so blind to the interior of my own cocoon, my drama and antics, that I nauseate myself. I would tell you details, and they are juicy, especially when I spin them up right and stack the story in my favour, but to be honest it is as simple as...I was a jerk. I had reasons sure...but how many acts too terrible to even think about are justified just the same way? Maybe all terrible things done in the world are justified this way. Ugh...

I trust it all...I WANT to take it back, but I know to trust it, that whatever the consequence, it is necessary for me to “get it”. Fuck being human is hard.

Being human is also wonderful, sweet and such a wild ride. Which is a good thing, because judging by my behaviour yesterday I will remain human a lot longer. I still have work to do before enlightenment catapults me out of being human....sigh.

Ok to make this entry a little more up beat, I want to dedicate this video to my Lily Rain. The cooler than cool 11 year old who went and skinned a deer with her dad yesterday, then brought the hide (sp?) home to make an alter cloth. This is for you kid.

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“What triggers you?” is the question in 12 days journal #227