August 20, 2009

Day 12 Jus Dance- Cookie Prophecy

Three for three. Three days of tears, three days of wondering how to make it all work. To be honest I didn’t really fulfil my commitment yesterday. In a metaphorical sense I did the anger dance, the sadness dance, the miscommunication dance, the feelings of deep abandonment dance, but no shakin my booty dance. The plan to go out, dance to live music at the Spirit Bar, to relax and have fun with friends, never happened. Instead I spent hours in a room, wanting to be heard, feeling that I wasn’t, with someone who wanted to be heard and felt he wasn’t.

I am glad this commitment is over, it feels like an ending to this period of unhappiness. What is it they say about bad things happening in threes? I don’t really think that the last three days were bad, hard, but not bad. Growth is sometimes painful, I get this. The last three days were really hard, the hard times are over though, cause I say so. I need some lightness in this heavy painful heart of mine.

And so it is! The sadness is ending because I need it to. And I know from a whole long life lived, that sad times do not last, they give way to happiness and more ease. I know that this too shall pass.

“How do you find happiness when times are tough?” is the question in 12 days journal #129

Just to end on a positive note, to show you all I really do know that things are as they should be, and that this time of coming out is worth this struggle, I will leave you with the wise words I found inside a fortune cookie yesterday.

“Your courage will guide your future”

We all know that fortune cookies are always right!


  1. Oh my Love
    Warrior Woman of LOVE
    I honor your mindbodyspirit evolving so beautifully
    Evolving for us all as a pillar of Unconditional Love Changing
    You inspire me soooooo
    And I feel your pain. I embrace your pain as the sweet contractions of this New Bernice Birthing, this New World Birthing.
    I am so Proud and Grateful to have you as a friend.
    Amma Li

  2. Sometimes, I just don't, and I tell myself that it's ok to not be able to find happiness during tough times. Nobody can be spot-on happy 24/7 if they are being truly authentic with their feelings, IMO. I've learned to honor even the negative feelings, but also that I should never make any big decisions while I'm wallowing in a negative-feeling moment.

    More {{{{{hugs}}}}}, because it sounds like you could still use some and I have many of them to spare for you. :-)