August 9, 2009

Day 1 Jus Dance- To be....

As some of you may have noticed, I got way behind on the blog. I have been spending a lot of time workshoping, doing some deep work, travelling and going to school. Today though I played!

Early is this morning we walked over to the chill dome, sketchbooks, pastels and altar in hand, to run another workshop. We were both tired, and agreed that if our names were not on the workshop sign that we would take the day off. Guess what...we were not! A sign from God to let everything go, just enjoy each others company, have fun. We danced all day, from stage to stage, stopping to visit with friends, eat, and spend time together talking about our future plans. It was lovely. At Shamabals there is a definite score. It is a place to explore without limitation. There are some of course, the law of the land still prevails, but then again maybe not. There was overt drug/medicine use everywhere. My sensible mom self, my public persona protecting self, wants to dumb this down here on the blog, gloss over the topic, not express my real feeling about drugs, substances, medicine, etc. I worry you will judge me for my views.

This is how I see it. Drugs are everywhere, they are a part of the human experience. TV is a drug, coffee is a drug, heroine is a drug, sex can be a drug, food can be a drug, or I suppose I should say addictive substance. I recently was in class and our instructor asked who in the class had a relationship with addiction. My hand shot up, I figured many would, but mine was the only one. Not fair! Everyone has addictions, everyone, no matter who you are I guarantee there is something in your life you have trouble controlling. So why all this talk of addiction? Well because it seems to me that there is a belief that drugs and addiction are synonymous. This is a oversimplification and simply not true. Some people are addicted to drugs, others use drugs and are not addicted to them. I can not have TV in my house, I am too susceptible to TV addiction to handle it, alcohol on the other hand I have no trouble handling, so I keep it in my house and drink it when I chose to. Addition is a huge issue, AND it is not the same as drug use. Drug use is a big part of Shambala, people use it for all sorts of reasons, some do damage to themselves, others open their minds and create wonderful ideas, art and events. Much of the beauty and ugliness at Shamabala comes from it’s acceptance of drugs as a part of our culture. I can not judge it, it simply is.

This day was magical, and continued to be magical as the day turned to night and eventually day be continued on Day 2.

“How do yo feel about drugs and drug use?” is the question in 12 days journal #118


  1. I agree. If fact I often refer back to a converstaion with you and Chris regarding alcohol vrs. weed. I talk to my kids a lot about drugs because of the serious dangers of things like crystal meth ... but am also very open about the effects of all kinds. A person on weed eats too much and goes to sleep - a person on alcohol can become a danger to everyone around them. I personally have a problem with food, me eating too much is just as harmful as drinking too much, its just more 'acceptable'. Anything taken to extreme, to a controlling factor, or an obsession it is an addiction. You can have healthy habits, or unhealthy habits ... the trick would be to not allow any of it to become an addiction.

    What would you say to this comment?
    "Addictions are a way people hide the true issues and hurts in their hearts and lives."
    I think thats true.

  2. I would agree...very strongly. It is not the substance it's self, whether it be heroine or exercise, it is the destructive nature of the behaviour. Heroine certainly has a far stronger potential to do serious harm, I see this. That said, I met a functioning heroine addict a few years back, before meeting him I didn't know there was such a thing. I personally had an exercise addiction in my early 20's that made me very sick. I was using it to hide the true issues and hurt in my heart, the feeling of being irreparably messed up and not being enough.

  3. I've known people who used drugs and were not addicted to it, and people who've used them and it was a HUGE problem in their lives. I've experimented a bit myself, but I guess a lot of the '80s PSAs about drugs stuck with me and scared me away from experimenting with any of the "more serious" ones. (I still remember the guy in an asylum who wigged out on LSD and would sit in his room singing Andy Gibb songs...I defy you to tell me that that is NOT scary! LOL.) I've known people who've used drugs just to help them relax after a rough day...those who use them to try to hide from a painful reality...those who think it expands their minds but really just makes them sound stupid and nonsensical (not saying this is the case with everyone who uses them to expand their minds, of course...but OTOH, you'd be amazed at how stupid and nonsensical a person can sound when they are doing a particular drug and you are not...LOL).

    I try not to judge because, as you said, we all have our addictions and mine just don't happen to be drugs. And really, I've found that since becoming a mom, listening to the crazy shit my kids come up with is quite a lot like the crazy shit people on drugs come up with, so I don't often feel the need or desire. LOL. It can be a challenge to not judge, own personal experiences with people who use drugs haven't been entirely positive, but I'm willing to accept that my experiences aren't necessarily representative.

    That was a lot of talk for not really saying much. LOL.