August 31, 2009

Day 11 Time Off- Restless

It is beginning to happen. This feeling which frequently accompanies down time, boredom. The ennui begins to build, I feel uninspired, restless, like I am not contributing. It is strange, I suspect there is middle ground, somewhere between working to get hundreds of things done in a day and blahsville. This place exists right? This mythical place where there are a number of meaningful tasks to complete in a day and nothing more, so that by bedtime a person goes to sleep with a sense of satisfaction and nothing pressing on their mind; where things were accomplished but nothing is left nagging...please tell me it exists!? I feel like life either proceeds at a breakneck pace or a stand still, with no in-between.

I have been pondering my next commitment, feeling pulled to do something grand, recommit to the original commitment to commitment itself. I suspect that if I choose to do this that you will be reading an entry within a week where I am lamenting how run off my feet I am. Is this what it feels like to be bipolar? Seriously, with no disrespect to those who are effected by this condition, I often wonder if I create a sort of manic bipolar energy in my own life. Is there another way?

Anyway I am way over 150 words and since this is the penultimate day of my time off, I will chill, go enjoy this lovely hot day and stop stewing about this lack of inspiration. The lack of inspiration which has spawn the less than inspiring “What inspires you?”, which resides in 12 days journal #140


  1. I am inspired by beauty in nature. A lovely mountain stream full of trout being fished by the happy members of my family...they better be happy dammit cause that inspires me!!!

  2. For some bizarre reason, staying physically active inspires me...must be something about how bodily movement gets the brain flowing, too. My kids inspire me. My love for life inspires me. Music inspires me. Witnessing the love, strength, or joy of others inspires me.