July 17, 2009

Day 2 Communicate- Addiction

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~ Mary Oliver ~

What happens when communicating honestly and openly is not met with the same? What happens when stepping up is not met with stepping up, but sitting down, with resolve, and resignation, with accusations of resentment rather than admissions of personal responsibility?

Have you ever had to let go of something you loved because it was just not good for you anymore? “What are you addicted to?“ is the question in 12 days journal #95


  1. I've had to let go of you a couple times now ... how is that for honest?
    My other addiction needs to go, but after falling (failing) so many times, it scares one to try to get up and try again while the bruises from the last fall still hurt ... but thank our Creator (;D ) His mercies are new every morning... (B is ok with my lingo - for those of you concerned! :) )
    I really hope that 'accusation' word has nothing to do with me my friend! ruthie

  2. Thank you for you honesty my lovely ruthie...I love you very much.

  3. Huh. There are two questions there and my answer to each is very different. What I'm addicted to, most probably, is computers/the Internet. It's one that I can usually control, but sometimes not. It helps that I'm aware of the problem, though, because, as I mentioned in a previous post, I have a strong intention to use computers and the Internet for GOOD in my life rather than letting it become a harmful part of my life.

    As for letting go of something I loved because it wasn't good for me anymore, well, I had to let go of my relationship with my mom. SO incredibly unhealthy, but I kept at it and kept at it even though the open communication and working stuff out was entirely one-sided, probably because I really wanted to have a close relationship with her. But no relationship can be healthy if only one person is willing to recognize that it's unhealthy and that it needs to change. I finally got to a point where I realized I couldn't let that one unhealthy relationship consume my life the way it was. It was EXACTLY like the poem you posted above...she wanted desperately for me to mend her life, but in the end, the only life I could save was my own. I'm not even sad anymore than I will never have a close relationship with my own mother...I've pretty much accepted it and moved on (it was many years ago).