July 26, 2009

Day 11 Communicate- What did you say?

Two conversations from this morning:

Bernice: “Were you doing yoga?”
Michael: ”Do I want a coconut?“

Michael in regards to Rosy’s pyjamas: ”Those look like little rabbits!“
Chris, shouts from the other room, believing he heard ”Raabis“ instead of ”rabbits“ : ”WHAT?“

Probably the most common break down in human communication is when someone says one thing while someone else hears another. These two examples from this morning are comical, they led to laughter. Often times though hearing something different than what is said causes pain, confusion and anger. Ever had a conversation like this?

Person 1: ”I don’t want to talk to you anymore, I am too angry!”
Person 2: “Ya well you make me angry too!”

Person 1 didn’t say person 2 ”made“ them angry, only that they were angry. Person 2 heard an accusation, a laying of blame, when it wasn’t spoken . It could very well be what person 1 does believe that person 2 ”made“ her angry, but this wasn’t what she said.

Saying what I really mean when I am angry can be difficult for me, hearing what another person really says when I am angry, can be even more so; I often hear things that were not said.

”When do you get angry?“ is the question in the front cover of 12 days journal #104

1 comment:

  1. When my kids deliberately pick on each other, especially with the intention of getting the other one in trouble. When I have to repeat myself to them more than 2 times and then they say, "What?" like they never heard a word I said. When my mom tries to lay a guilt trip on me (which is pretty much every time I talk to her). When the neighbor boy picks on my daughter (he's a serious bully and I wish his family had never moved here!). When other people expect me to give up what's important to me to tend to whatever is important to them and then don't even bother to thank me for it.

    It seems weird to make a list like this, though. Mostly, I'm not an angry person, but yes, I'm human and I do have certain things that trigger an anger response in me. I've also noticed that my life circumstances have a huge impact on my anger levels. When I was miserably unhappy with my life, every little thing pissed me off. Now that I'm very happy with my life, it takes a lot more to tick me off than it used to and I take things way more in stride.