I went up alone today. Well kind of, my thoughts and my dog kept me company. One was definitely quieter than the other. I was so deep in thought I reached the top without really noticing my progress. I found people I know from around town. The womyn was writing in the journal. I hung back, not wanting them to see that I had replacement journals (new fangled ones instead of ones pilfered from my kids rooms). I have decided I want to stay as anonymous as possible for as long as I can. I want this to be about the experiment. I imagine people will edit what they are willing to share if they have preconceived ideas about who I am. I know eventually people will figure it out but hopefully by then there will be a momentum to carry the experiment beyond personalities.
I forgot to write “WRITE IN ME!”on the outside of the journal I left up top. I think this maybe why there was only 3 entries. I had already prepared new journals before going up. I am going to work tonight on how to label them. Also I am going to start numbering them. I have recycled my score already and the experiment is beginning to take shape. Which reminds me I need to work on the “What’s the Score” section of the blog so when people read this they will have an idea of what I am talking about when I use terms like “recycling the score”. This is getting exciting.
The three entries in responds to “What have you lost that still pulls at your heart?”
First a funny guy...imagine if it had been his shirt! :P
“I lost my left shoe, it was so close to my heart and now I will never see it again :( ”
Sweet!
“I lost my inner child but I am trying to find her. he he he :) “
Again the first entry in the journal was profound. I wonder if it is at its most potent right when it is left behind with a set intention? Something to ponder.
“Travis Steeger. Gone from us, but shredding pow in heaven.
Travis was a young local hot shot powder skier who had recently received sponsorship. He was involved in a hit and run accident while crossing the street in a near by ski town on Feb 22nd 2009. The night he was killed also happened to be his 19th birthday. I did not know Travis Steeger personally. But having spent my entire youth on a set of skis I recognized that freedom and exhilaration of riding two sticks down frozen water, something we shared. He obviously loved to ski and from what I saw was damn good at it too. Have a shralping good time up there Travis. I imagine the powder in heaven is...well heavenly!
I hope you don't mind that I'm answering these questions on the blog. I felt inspired to just jump right in.
ReplyDeleteWhat have I lost that still pulls at my heart?
My son, Ian. He was born on June 18, 2000, at 32 weeks, and died 4 days later due to a fatal type of dwarfism. His birthday is coming up...if he were alive, it would be his 9th. It is hard to believe that it's been almost 9 years already.
He will always, always pull at my heart. We had (and still have) a very, very strong connection. I had no idea a mother-child connection could be so strong until he came into my life. His birth and death changed my life forever, for the better, for the good. Most people lose a baby and it turns them bitter and sad; but in losing his, mine was somehow reborn. I had no clue that my capacity to love is as deep and vast as it is until I loved him.
I am a better, stronger, happier person because of him. THAT'S why he always pulls so strongly at my heart, and why he always will.
Peace.