April 19, 2009

Day 9 Pulpit Rock- Sundays

I woke up feeling sad for the second day in a row. Yesterday I didn’t give myself the chance to really feel the sadness. So this was my mission today, to feel the sad. I went alone again. I didn’t even take one of my dogs. Of course I wasn’t really alone, it was a Sunday and there were many people on the trail. Sunday is culturally a day of reverence, and what better place to be reverent than on a magnificent rock outcrop overlooking a beautiful mountain town filled with community. I cried a little, really trying to stick with feeling the sadness, not redirecting my thoughts or convincing myself to “cheer up”. I was also very tired today, for the first time I had the thought “are we there yet?”. It could be that 9 days in a row is a lot for my body to take, but I think it was more my state of mind. My mind was sad, why not let my body act sad too. I sat for a while longer than usual when I reached the top. While sticking with feeling my sadness I forgot to come up with a question while on the trail. I thought it would be about the saddness, but you know by that point the sad had dissipated. I found myself smiling at the cuddles I had had with my kids that morning. How I loved to brush their plump cheeks with the back of my fingers and see love in their eyes. I thought about how much joy they bring, how they ARE Joy...and so I wrote as much in the journal. “What have you done TODAY that brought you joy?”, is the question in 12 days journal #6.

Oh and there were no journals left at the top. There are 6 out there in the world. And other than 12 days journal #6 I have no idea where they are, they are free range journals! I am so in love with this experiment.

1 comment:

  1. Today? Just this. It's been kind of a wasted day and part of me thinks I'm continuing to waste time doing this when I have a ton of other things I should be doing.

    But what I "should" be doing is what nourishes my soul right now, and catching up with the blog is doing that for me. So. I grant myself permission not to waste time reading the blog, but to ENJOY my time reading the blog. :-)

    I know I keep saying it, but I keep meaning it: Thank you, Bernice. Namaste.