Day 12 Easy- Easy

So this is it...the kinda end. I mean not really. I will keep blogging, at least until I decided to do something else. It won’t be every day though. I am going to try something radical and post when I am inspired to...I know crazy.

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So thanks everyone... I know it is kinda anti climactic, what with all these “endings” and “goodbyes“, especially given not a lot will change. I do feel like I needed to mark the end somehow though...I just can’t come up with anything really good. Hmmmm....

(insert idea from Chris, and he and Michael singing to me.)

Hey how about that for a nice ending !? Here I sit on my bed, Michael is sending emails, Chris is looking at turkey hunting websites and I am writing my last entry. Life is good, life is easy, love prevails.

Love you all, enjoy the video.

Day 11 Easy- Nothing to See Here

Leadership is less about my role and more about my engagment with self and community in service of making change for the better. ~Ken Otter

Day 10 Easy- See Saw Relief

The leaves have arrived! There are flowers everywhere. Life is good!

My facebook status reads, “Bernice Raabis loves today...it is my favourite out of lots and lots of days”.

I believe my spring fever has finally broken...you can all come out of your homes now. For those of you who live where there is little or no snow and cold, I am not joking here... I go a little crazy in the spring and this was a tough one! Just ask my family and friends who put up with me for the last few weeks. Anyway all is well...it might have something to do with being past the new moon too. Whatever the cause, I am grateful.

And so in honour of spring finally giving way to the side of summer, here is a little tweaked Rumi

“You were born of pure potential.
You were born with goodness and trust,
You were born with intuition and feeling.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings!

You were never meant to crawl for long, by now you have mastered your legs.... It is time to awaken to your wings.

The time is now,
learn to use them,

and fly!

-Rumi and Bernice”

Day 9 Easy- The Work is the Same

“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” - Carlos Castaneda

I just finished a 6 week Compassionate Communication course tonight. Michael taught the class. I learned something each and every time I went. It was not always easy. We were going through some really tough times these last 2 months. I am both proud and grateful that I stuck it out and went to all but one class, which I was in Alberta for. It couldn’t have been easy for Michael either to teach Compassionate Communication with me there in a the room, we were having such a hard time communicating then. I am proud of us both. I love us both. I am blessed to have him in my life, no matter what the future holds for us.

We had another speed bump after class. He might not be able to make an event I am putting on, I was hurt, and there was potential for it to all go sideways again...but that is not what happened. Mostly due to Michael's efforts to stay centred and grounded in love we made it through. The circumstances which presented the speed bump still exist, I don’t know what will happen there, but I do know he loves me. For now this is enough.

Thanks for everything Baby.

Oh oh and one more thing...tonight is the new moon and I was told the beginning of the lunar new year, though I am not sure in what tradition. We did a new moon ceremony to finish up Michael’s class, which was wonderful and perfect. I chose to set intentions for not only the month, like I always do on the new moon, but also for the whole year.

This new moon I set intentions for ease, abundance and adventure....and so it is!



What a year it is going to be... (BIG SMILE)

Look Mom...no journal question!! YEEHAW!

Day 8 Easy- Home sweet Home

Summer is really coming...you know how I know? We had our first wiener and marshmallow roast tonight. I came home to find Chris and our new neighbour, Seth, in the back yard with the girls, they were already into the marshmallows. We all shot the Rosy’s bow for a while (yes you read that right Ruthie, my 7 year old has her own bow, I am sure you will get a smile out of Roger with that one), and then I went for a little walk with Dixie.

I wandered over to our garage property. I call it “ours“ even though it now belongs to Seth and Katie. I never really said good bye to this land, a half acre overlooking Nelson with a view so beautiful it is still hard to believe we will never see it out the front window of our family home. See when we bought this place, 3 half acre lots, we had a whole plan of how we were going to work things.

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(This is not a great pic, and yes we NEED to fall that big mostly dead conifer, but I am sure you get the idea)

The plan was to live on the lot with the house (the house we live in now). Build on the garage property and use the other lot, which has a barn, for livestock and gardens. In the end we would sell the lot with the house and end up with our dream home and garden on one acre, 5 minutes from downtown Nelson. By selling the house and lot we lived in while building we could pay off our mortgage entirely. We would have realized a dream we set in place 10 years earlier.

Sometimes things don’t go as planned.

Our lives changed considerably. I usually say things changed “after Chris’ accident” but to be honest, our lives changed long before that, back when we lived in Pemberton. These changes did not add up to a couple who could build our dream home, at least not yet. When finances became an issue we made the tough decision to sell the garage lot, the one with the best view and building potential, we knew it was the one that would sell. As I walked around the property, drinking from Seth’s mason jar filled with pure clean mountain water untouched by an human processing, I thought about the whole new life that we had created. It doesn’t include the property I went to say good bye to tonight, what it does in include is Seth and Katie and their new baby boy. Seth helped Chris fix our roof today. He and Katie brought us dried apples for Christmas. They will bring so much more into our life than a half acre and a big building for cars. Next door is Al and Massa, who will bring even more life to our community on the mountain in 6 weeks when they have their own baby. Then there is Oma and Opa, a couple in their 80’s who know more about this mountain than anyone. And another couple who were just married...no word on kids yet. Then there are the friends, all the people who wander up here to visit and help us to create our community, and come up for a wiener roast and a warm place to crash for the night.

Chris left for a parent teacher meeting shortly after I got home, Seth left too. I am now writing, while the kids are cleaning up after dinner with Richard. They only came into the house because they finally gave up shooting the bow as the sun set...at 7:38pm!!!! It is official summer is FINALLY coming...and it is about time!

We lived a blessed life!

So this is the last journal question ever...I am feeling the pressure a little here...but it is pretty easy to just follow the flow of the entry and go with “How are you blessed? ” the final question in the final journal. 12 days journal #366

All I got to do now is finish out this commitment...4 more days... wow.

Day 7 Easy- Truth, Ease and Joy!

To sum up today I give you this very well thought out love poem.

“Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Today I found Ease
and some Joy too.”

So why is “truth” included in today's entry title? Honesty is a funny thing, I find there are times I believe I am being honest and within a short period of time realize I was not. In tomorrows post you will read that it is the last journal question I ever had to come up with. TRUTH is I wrote it before I wrote this one.

Throughout this project I had to make rules for myself to keep this project both truthful and REALISTIC, to keep myself honest and sane. I made a rule that any time I sat down to write, I had to start with that days entry. Even if I had editing or filling in to do for days gone past, that days post being authentically motivated by the now was most important for the intergity of the project. So yesterday evening I wrote, with the intention of getting to this entry later, which never happened. So I am writing the last 3 paragraphs and the question for 12 days journal #365 today (April 14th)...today is actually the last day I will come up with a question, which is perfect since 3 years out ever 4 only have 365 days anyway. The (real last) question for today’s journal is “How truthful are you?”

I have to say I am pretty truthful, and even THEN, you will read tomorrows post and see I told an untruth and didn’t even realize it at the time. I am doing the best I can. I trust in this.

Day 6 Easy- Anger

I am so angry this morning. I am angry because I am tired of feeling sad and frustrated at not being able to meet my needs, anger seems to be a natural progression. I have heard it said that anger is actually just a really clear indication that change is necessary.

I want change. I want to run away, find some magic that eludes me here. I think I might. If you will take me in for a few days send me an email 12days2inspire@gmail.com

I love Nelson, and being here is too hard right now.



12 days journal #364 has the question “When you need to get away where do you go?” inside it, or it will, when I make it. Which I will do on my mystery trip and then I will give them away when I am in..... God knows where...oh how I hope there is a warm beach there.

Day 5 Easy- Blah!!

I was sick all weekend which triple sucks because what I need more than anything is to go have fun. My mystery illness felt like someone had poured lighter fluid into my small intestine and would intermittently light it up. I missed a party in the valley where there are fresh faces, new connections, a new start. I am ready for the next step God. This perceived stagnation of mine is driving me round the bend. BLAH!!!



“What has recently changed in your life?” is the question in 12 days journal #363

Day 4 Easy- The Gift

Needing a Mirror

Your eyes are so wise.
They keep turning and turning, Needing to Touch Beauty.

They keep turning to find a mirror who will caress you as... I.

-Me and Hafiz and Daniel

Beltane approaches and my body years. Like a flower pressing up through the cold hard earth...towards...sunshine, bare skin, summer love.

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This time of year is always so hard...in certain ways.... and then I remember it is majestic in others.

Today I stood dancing in an alley, warm sun on my back as snow flakes fell, sticking to my shawl. I danced like a crow, arms spread, welcoming spring, again, in all her trickster ways. I was with good friends, all new within the last 2 years. Oh my how quickly my life changes.

Drink in every moment brothers and sisters, there is so much beauty out there.

“What does you body yearn for?” is the question in 12 days journal #362

Day 3 Easy- Perfect Day

As of today I have submitted an entry on this blog every single day for a full year. Wow.

I had an amazing day, won a court case, found peace and love with Michael, a new studio opportunity popped up, and I had dinner with a dear friend and my family in a warm, cozy home. It was all so beautiful and easy....And.... I still I feel sadness... loss. It doesn’t consume like it did in the past, its grip is now more of a gentle hand hold, it is still there though... I suppose this is the human side of this human experience.

“I Thank God for being human every morning.
-Michael Franti”

And just to give you one more little morsel of love here is what tonight's tea bag said:

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
-Carl Jung”



“What does it mean to ‘awaken’?” is the question in 12 days journal #361

P.S. Someone posted a comment yesterday under the name “anonymous“ asking if/saying I was ”losing it, eh ?“. I laughed and thought,” losing“? Ha! I lost it a long time ago! A sense of humour is essential when committing to anything for a year!

Day 2 Easy- Om Tara

“Sometimes Love wants to reach out and manhandle me, break all my coffee shop talk of God.

If I had the courage to give God his way, some nights he would drag me round the room by my hair. Ripping from my grip all those gadgets of the world that bring me no real Joy.

Love sometimes gets tired of reflective listening and instead wants to rip to shreds all my misguided ideas of truth. These ideas that make me fight within myself, and with those I love. Causing the World to weep on too many wondrous days.

God wants to Manhandle me, lock us in a tiny room together and practice his drop-kick! Wants to do me the great favour of holding me by the pant legs to shake all the nonsense out.

And when I hear that he is in such a “playful drunken mood”, I quickly pack my bags, ready to hightail it out of town.

Hafiz...with a little help from Bernice. (say it out loud it kinda rhymes)“

Thank you to Neil who delivered this poem to me today. Today was a magical glorious day...perfect

“How do you show yourself empathy?“ is the question in 12 days journal #360

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(I added a picture of a puffin, they are my new favourite bird)

Day 1 Easy- Jan Van Eyck

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Every Prophet’s Name

I found completeness when every breath began to silently say the name of my Lord.

That name, my conception of him, extended to me a hand that led to a place where even HIS divine name could not exist... Why?

Most sounds express discontent, longing or negotiation. The tea pot may whistle out an ecstatic cry, but even that I have learned to control until everything I knew burst into a glorious symmetry.

I have no seam, no walls, no law.
My frontiers and God’s are the same.

One Divine Being IS existence.
All the forest on this earth are but one tiny wood fibre, a particle in one spoke on the Universal wheel.

What is the relationship of form to the unseen aspects of God?
What percentage of God is unseen?
What percentage of the Truth of him do we Know?


He led me to a place where only Light existed.
Yet only in Us is God so lost that he asks questions.

The Soul outside all walls never troubled him, never wondered things like, “Where are you my Beloved?”

For now your arms and God’s arms are intertwined!

I said to my Lord, “This Holy Place I have entered...is Your Name the only key to it?”

My Lord replied, “How old do you think existence is? For Eons of time souls have been entering Me. Every prophet’s Name is a key... as is every Heart full of forgiveness and Love.

-Saint Theresa of Ávila...with a little Bernice flavour.

“What is your purpose?” is the question in 12 days journal #359

Encore Commitment! "Kinda"

I commit for the next 12 days to do...nothing in particular. Easy hey?!



I have to tie up some loose blog ends. I finished the commitment to this project as it was designed by yours truly. I am satisfied and proud as hell. Now though I want to smooth some things out.

When this whole crazy thing began I wasn’t blogging. The first blog entry was submitted on April 9th, on Day 11 of my commitment to cleanse my system. I also did not start making 12 days journals until I commited to climbing Pulpit Rock for 12 days. What this all means is I actually have to submit 3 more entries to have made an entry-a-day for a full year and I need 8 more journal questions to make 366, the number of days in a leap year. These things are important to me. I came this far...what is one more 12 day commitment?

It needs to be easy though, so I am committing to nothing. I will write an entry because I want these loose ends neat and tidy, but other than that I am going to do NO THING!