Day 10 Sans Coffee- Past

I went to therapy today with Chris. We are dealing with some stuff that happened shortly after Chris’ head injury. He was really sick then. I hid what was going on in our family, from basically everyone. Dark times. So today, over 2 years later, I went to our family counsellor, an amazing womyn named Lilli, and realized in doing so that I am reluctant to look back. It scares me. My past has many crazy events which helped to create this womyn that I am proud to be, this doesn’t mean I want to relive them though. Lilli says I don’t need to. I don’t understand how this is possible, to heal the past without looking at it, but I trust her. Though I am reluctant to enter back into therapy, I am going to.

Lilli has a ritual. When we leave her office, she has a basket filled with affirmations and inspirational sayings. I love this part. Love the tarot card style of drawing little pieces of paper which always seem to be the perfect parting words for any session. Today I got:

“When you don’t keep looking back, it’s that much easier not to trip and fall.”

Exactly!

“How has your past effected who you have become?” is the question in 12 days journal #176

Still no inspiration to write...I am beginning to worry.