Day I am not Sure

Wow...what a trip. I completely dropped out of computer land, I am not even doing emails. The project ended, I came out for my ,as per usual, long drawn out encore and even the "show after the show" ....then BAM!... I really got to feel what it was like to be at the end of the project.

"What I Have Learned; a check list."

-Damn did I need a break from the computer!!

-Damn was that hard! I had no idea until I was out of it for real how different I now was, that even my fingers are different from tying for so long. They are now distressed that I have stopped typing actually. I keep getting nerve pain in the hand I broke punching a wall shortly before I began this project. (long story)

-I learned that I am terrible when not engaged!! I fret so much over not being on track, or growing, or contributing (right now mostly financially which is killing me, damn do I want to make my own money!!!)

-That I want to do another blogging project and am struggling to come up with something that is lucrative, relatively stress free and growing from the success I gained of my own accord. I DID it! I built 12days2inspire.com on my own and I did really well, I want to build on this! I also know that I want the new project to mean me writing and doing art and dancing...yes dancing!!

-I learned that despite all the growth that the project and blog brought into my personal life, that I still have some old patterns which are stuck. I still struggle with how to see through the veils. I still have baggage and I still strive for perfection which I espouse to only "exist with flaws".... I learned that I am my own worst critic. obstacle, and disbeliever.

-I learned that I really do believe in myself...eventually. That believing in myself is not a finite destination but a journey where I still fuck up (the word fuck only used for literary emphasis). I learned that believing in myself means picking myself up, recommitting to myself and believing again. I believe in myself even when I don't, this is my practice, one of many.

-I learned that I have a very strong, varied and unorthodox practice that doesn't fit in a box or on a Soul Motion application form very well. I often have a difficult time explaining it, this makes it difficult to communicate. I also learned that even when I can't explain something it doesn't change that I know it, that it is my truth.

-I learned that I love my sisters, and that I love my brothers, and that ultimately what is left to learn for us here on this sweet beautiful planet is to GET ALONG!. Divine female, Divine male, regardless of sexual orientation or choices, womyn and men need to learn to get along. Sisters need to learn to get along, to not believe in scarcity of love, because we all know that what we have in common as sisters is how much we want love. And the brothers need to learn to get along so they can talk, understand each other, trust each other to trust the sisters to love each other, so we can honour our brothers. It's time.

Day 5- Why I Choose It...

This video is why I do the work I do. Why I have dedicated my life to dance even though it didn’t turn out the way I imagined it would when I was 16.

Then I wanted to be a professional dancer. Wanted the theatre life, and to dance dance dance all the time, move my body and find God there. The thing was the dance world where I existed, in front of mirrors, performing predetermined steps judging my every move, began to robe me of my confident and along with that my love for the art form. At 21 I quit when I became the mother of one beautiful light being. Years past and slowly slowly I began to dance again. My life is now back to being filled with endless rehearsals and costuming conundrums. The difference now is how I feel in my dance, how I feel about my dance. I may not be as flexible as I was, my artistic line on stage may not present quite as well as it did when my choreographers were top notch and on staff at a performance arts school, but now my spirit and confidence get to come with me up on stage. Like the little girls in this video I dance to be free, to ride a cloud, to listen to my heart, to BE the wooden floor, no separation between me and anything. No separation between me and the people I am dancing with, or the ones down the hall, out to the street, I am connected through this dance to every living being. From the floor I can step ANYWHERE!

Tomorrow night I will perform with the Arise Sacred Dance Troupe, our debut performance. It will have glitches and likely will not run 100% smooth, we have never done this before. Luckily we are not doing this to be flawless. It is our first, first of many and instead of flawless we strive to be authentic, to inspire and to awaken. Thank you to Eau Vive and Heather for pulling this whole thing together, for being amazing, for being courageous, for creating a safe container for our glorious lights shine. THANK YOU! Thank you!Thank you.



Come see us tomorrow if you are in Nelson. Support us as we open the door, step on the floor and change the world with our expression of love and hope using our bodies as our tool.

Day 4- New Moon

Tonight I set the intention to manifest and commit to:

Positive cash flow
Acceptance and celebration of my body in all my shapes and forms.
Fully embracing my monthly New Moon Ceremony.
To trusting this journey, no matter how the journey feels or looks.

We (Jill and I) went to Taghum beach, we danced on the beach, and almost lost our journals. Then we burnt our intentions in a big bonfire. It was brilliant and nourishing.

Happy New Moon all!

Day 3- Harder Than I Thought.

Reintegrating this blog into my life has proved more difficult than I expected, in a really bizarre way that I never imagined. It is not that I don’t want to write, I really miss writing, I haven’t felt nearly as inspired since I quit. What I am working on figuring out is how to adapt my posting and editing skills to this new not-a-commitment. They were so regimented before, in a laissez faire sort of way. Now they are laissez faire in a no direction kinda way. I have scads of half written posts and TONS of ideas but writing and editing later became my habit. With my new desire to be authetic, present, now, by the time I edit the entry is no longer current and then I decide not relevant (or something) so I haven’t proceed to publishing any of them. Ugh.... self direction has never been my strong point. It is why I create things like www.12days2inspire.com. There is so much I want to do, write, paint, dance, build community, perform, travel. I am struggling with finding a direction, well that is not true, I am struggling to STICK with A direction.

I wrote a grant last week, with a deadline. Perfect. Wouldn’t you know it, I manage to be involved with writing two grants, finding profit numbers, and networking the projects along the way. I did this while working with two different partners. It was fabulous. You know what the grant writing and this blog have in common? Deadlines. I work well with deadlines...I just don’t like them. Or maybe it is just that I don’t like too many of them. I am definitely liking not having the heavy commitment of the 12 days project on my shoulders, I do see though how I created my own deadline and managed to be more efficient.... Double Ugh. Finding the balance between inspiration, motivation, discrimination, perspiration, concentration, and dedication is a six sided dance, a tetrahedron of body, mind, and spirit.

Speaking of math. Here is an amazing short. A mathematical explanation for the beauty of the world. It is set to music that can be felt in the heart and has kick ass visuals. I wonder if the soundtrack is somehow based on the Fibonacci sequence? That would be the full meal deal!



I watched it over and over.... math makes sense when I watch it this way..

Day 2- I Want Some Money!!

I have been away from this blog for a while. I can tell you it feels REALLY good to not have entries looming over my head...and.... I miss it too. It is a mixed bag for sure.

Anyway I am writing a couple of grants at the moment. Well mostly I am writing one and Michael is writing another. We are looking to get some money to finance a couple of dance projects. So my writing hasn’t stopped, it just got boring.

I will write something more interesting here on the blog soon, when I am finished grant writing...I like saying that...“grant writing”. It makes me feel so grown up and sophisticated.

Day 1- The Forest is coming Alive.

Why does writing an entry today feel more scary than ever before?

An ant flew down my back as I wrote that last sentence, how creepy is that? Kinda like tonight's entry is an admission of entering into the jungle. A place where the body rules the way, in a year I now know as the year I will travel between Nelson, BC, Northern Washington, California and Central America, following the worlds of my passion, my family and dance community. This year where I will begin my training as a Soul Motion teacher, a term I know is silly, this year when the ant walked back onto my screen and reminds me that the forest is coming alive again. It is time to go close the door.



As for why the idea of writing now is scary, it is simply more naked. Now I write when I want to, and in admitting this I admit to you that I want to. From now on how honest I am is on my own terms, no score to fulfill, no rules to follow, from here it is just me...no gimmicks. Unless I come up with one by tomorrow that is.

Ahhh, an Alexi Murdoch song just came on, and I am tired. I am going now to fall asleep to his marshmallowy voice.

To all who read this...thanks for hangin out... for checking in when it was just me you were looking for.

Day 12 Easy- Easy

So this is it...the kinda end. I mean not really. I will keep blogging, at least until I decided to do something else. It won’t be every day though. I am going to try something radical and post when I am inspired to...I know crazy.

​

So thanks everyone... I know it is kinda anti climactic, what with all these “endings” and “goodbyes“, especially given not a lot will change. I do feel like I needed to mark the end somehow though...I just can’t come up with anything really good. Hmmmm....

(insert idea from Chris, and he and Michael singing to me.)

Hey how about that for a nice ending !? Here I sit on my bed, Michael is sending emails, Chris is looking at turkey hunting websites and I am writing my last entry. Life is good, life is easy, love prevails.

Love you all, enjoy the video.

Day 11 Easy- Nothing to See Here

Leadership is less about my role and more about my engagment with self and community in service of making change for the better. ~Ken Otter

Day 10 Easy- See Saw Relief

The leaves have arrived! There are flowers everywhere. Life is good!

My facebook status reads, “Bernice Raabis loves today...it is my favourite out of lots and lots of days”.

I believe my spring fever has finally broken...you can all come out of your homes now. For those of you who live where there is little or no snow and cold, I am not joking here... I go a little crazy in the spring and this was a tough one! Just ask my family and friends who put up with me for the last few weeks. Anyway all is well...it might have something to do with being past the new moon too. Whatever the cause, I am grateful.

And so in honour of spring finally giving way to the side of summer, here is a little tweaked Rumi

“You were born of pure potential.
You were born with goodness and trust,
You were born with intuition and feeling.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings!

You were never meant to crawl for long, by now you have mastered your legs.... It is time to awaken to your wings.

The time is now,
learn to use them,

and fly!

-Rumi and Bernice”

Day 9 Easy- The Work is the Same

“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” - Carlos Castaneda

I just finished a 6 week Compassionate Communication course tonight. Michael taught the class. I learned something each and every time I went. It was not always easy. We were going through some really tough times these last 2 months. I am both proud and grateful that I stuck it out and went to all but one class, which I was in Alberta for. It couldn’t have been easy for Michael either to teach Compassionate Communication with me there in a the room, we were having such a hard time communicating then. I am proud of us both. I love us both. I am blessed to have him in my life, no matter what the future holds for us.

We had another speed bump after class. He might not be able to make an event I am putting on, I was hurt, and there was potential for it to all go sideways again...but that is not what happened. Mostly due to Michael's efforts to stay centred and grounded in love we made it through. The circumstances which presented the speed bump still exist, I don’t know what will happen there, but I do know he loves me. For now this is enough.

Thanks for everything Baby.

Oh oh and one more thing...tonight is the new moon and I was told the beginning of the lunar new year, though I am not sure in what tradition. We did a new moon ceremony to finish up Michael’s class, which was wonderful and perfect. I chose to set intentions for not only the month, like I always do on the new moon, but also for the whole year.

This new moon I set intentions for ease, abundance and adventure....and so it is!



What a year it is going to be... (BIG SMILE)

Look Mom...no journal question!! YEEHAW!

Day 8 Easy- Home sweet Home

Summer is really coming...you know how I know? We had our first wiener and marshmallow roast tonight. I came home to find Chris and our new neighbour, Seth, in the back yard with the girls, they were already into the marshmallows. We all shot the Rosy’s bow for a while (yes you read that right Ruthie, my 7 year old has her own bow, I am sure you will get a smile out of Roger with that one), and then I went for a little walk with Dixie.

I wandered over to our garage property. I call it “ours“ even though it now belongs to Seth and Katie. I never really said good bye to this land, a half acre overlooking Nelson with a view so beautiful it is still hard to believe we will never see it out the front window of our family home. See when we bought this place, 3 half acre lots, we had a whole plan of how we were going to work things.

​
(This is not a great pic, and yes we NEED to fall that big mostly dead conifer, but I am sure you get the idea)

The plan was to live on the lot with the house (the house we live in now). Build on the garage property and use the other lot, which has a barn, for livestock and gardens. In the end we would sell the lot with the house and end up with our dream home and garden on one acre, 5 minutes from downtown Nelson. By selling the house and lot we lived in while building we could pay off our mortgage entirely. We would have realized a dream we set in place 10 years earlier.

Sometimes things don’t go as planned.

Our lives changed considerably. I usually say things changed “after Chris’ accident” but to be honest, our lives changed long before that, back when we lived in Pemberton. These changes did not add up to a couple who could build our dream home, at least not yet. When finances became an issue we made the tough decision to sell the garage lot, the one with the best view and building potential, we knew it was the one that would sell. As I walked around the property, drinking from Seth’s mason jar filled with pure clean mountain water untouched by an human processing, I thought about the whole new life that we had created. It doesn’t include the property I went to say good bye to tonight, what it does in include is Seth and Katie and their new baby boy. Seth helped Chris fix our roof today. He and Katie brought us dried apples for Christmas. They will bring so much more into our life than a half acre and a big building for cars. Next door is Al and Massa, who will bring even more life to our community on the mountain in 6 weeks when they have their own baby. Then there is Oma and Opa, a couple in their 80’s who know more about this mountain than anyone. And another couple who were just married...no word on kids yet. Then there are the friends, all the people who wander up here to visit and help us to create our community, and come up for a wiener roast and a warm place to crash for the night.

Chris left for a parent teacher meeting shortly after I got home, Seth left too. I am now writing, while the kids are cleaning up after dinner with Richard. They only came into the house because they finally gave up shooting the bow as the sun set...at 7:38pm!!!! It is official summer is FINALLY coming...and it is about time!

We lived a blessed life!

So this is the last journal question ever...I am feeling the pressure a little here...but it is pretty easy to just follow the flow of the entry and go with “How are you blessed? ” the final question in the final journal. 12 days journal #366

All I got to do now is finish out this commitment...4 more days... wow.

Day 7 Easy- Truth, Ease and Joy!

To sum up today I give you this very well thought out love poem.

“Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Today I found Ease
and some Joy too.”

So why is “truth” included in today's entry title? Honesty is a funny thing, I find there are times I believe I am being honest and within a short period of time realize I was not. In tomorrows post you will read that it is the last journal question I ever had to come up with. TRUTH is I wrote it before I wrote this one.

Throughout this project I had to make rules for myself to keep this project both truthful and REALISTIC, to keep myself honest and sane. I made a rule that any time I sat down to write, I had to start with that days entry. Even if I had editing or filling in to do for days gone past, that days post being authentically motivated by the now was most important for the intergity of the project. So yesterday evening I wrote, with the intention of getting to this entry later, which never happened. So I am writing the last 3 paragraphs and the question for 12 days journal #365 today (April 14th)...today is actually the last day I will come up with a question, which is perfect since 3 years out ever 4 only have 365 days anyway. The (real last) question for today’s journal is “How truthful are you?”

I have to say I am pretty truthful, and even THEN, you will read tomorrows post and see I told an untruth and didn’t even realize it at the time. I am doing the best I can. I trust in this.

Day 6 Easy- Anger

I am so angry this morning. I am angry because I am tired of feeling sad and frustrated at not being able to meet my needs, anger seems to be a natural progression. I have heard it said that anger is actually just a really clear indication that change is necessary.

I want change. I want to run away, find some magic that eludes me here. I think I might. If you will take me in for a few days send me an email 12days2inspire@gmail.com

I love Nelson, and being here is too hard right now.



12 days journal #364 has the question “When you need to get away where do you go?” inside it, or it will, when I make it. Which I will do on my mystery trip and then I will give them away when I am in..... God knows where...oh how I hope there is a warm beach there.

Day 5 Easy- Blah!!

I was sick all weekend which triple sucks because what I need more than anything is to go have fun. My mystery illness felt like someone had poured lighter fluid into my small intestine and would intermittently light it up. I missed a party in the valley where there are fresh faces, new connections, a new start. I am ready for the next step God. This perceived stagnation of mine is driving me round the bend. BLAH!!!



“What has recently changed in your life?” is the question in 12 days journal #363

Day 4 Easy- The Gift

Needing a Mirror

Your eyes are so wise.
They keep turning and turning, Needing to Touch Beauty.

They keep turning to find a mirror who will caress you as... I.

-Me and Hafiz and Daniel

Beltane approaches and my body years. Like a flower pressing up through the cold hard earth...towards...sunshine, bare skin, summer love.

​

This time of year is always so hard...in certain ways.... and then I remember it is majestic in others.

Today I stood dancing in an alley, warm sun on my back as snow flakes fell, sticking to my shawl. I danced like a crow, arms spread, welcoming spring, again, in all her trickster ways. I was with good friends, all new within the last 2 years. Oh my how quickly my life changes.

Drink in every moment brothers and sisters, there is so much beauty out there.

“What does you body yearn for?” is the question in 12 days journal #362

Day 3 Easy- Perfect Day

As of today I have submitted an entry on this blog every single day for a full year. Wow.

I had an amazing day, won a court case, found peace and love with Michael, a new studio opportunity popped up, and I had dinner with a dear friend and my family in a warm, cozy home. It was all so beautiful and easy....And.... I still I feel sadness... loss. It doesn’t consume like it did in the past, its grip is now more of a gentle hand hold, it is still there though... I suppose this is the human side of this human experience.

“I Thank God for being human every morning.
-Michael Franti”

And just to give you one more little morsel of love here is what tonight's tea bag said:

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
-Carl Jung”



“What does it mean to ‘awaken’?” is the question in 12 days journal #361

P.S. Someone posted a comment yesterday under the name “anonymous“ asking if/saying I was ”losing it, eh ?“. I laughed and thought,” losing“? Ha! I lost it a long time ago! A sense of humour is essential when committing to anything for a year!

Day 2 Easy- Om Tara

“Sometimes Love wants to reach out and manhandle me, break all my coffee shop talk of God.

If I had the courage to give God his way, some nights he would drag me round the room by my hair. Ripping from my grip all those gadgets of the world that bring me no real Joy.

Love sometimes gets tired of reflective listening and instead wants to rip to shreds all my misguided ideas of truth. These ideas that make me fight within myself, and with those I love. Causing the World to weep on too many wondrous days.

God wants to Manhandle me, lock us in a tiny room together and practice his drop-kick! Wants to do me the great favour of holding me by the pant legs to shake all the nonsense out.

And when I hear that he is in such a “playful drunken mood”, I quickly pack my bags, ready to hightail it out of town.

Hafiz...with a little help from Bernice. (say it out loud it kinda rhymes)“

Thank you to Neil who delivered this poem to me today. Today was a magical glorious day...perfect

“How do you show yourself empathy?“ is the question in 12 days journal #360

​
(I added a picture of a puffin, they are my new favourite bird)

Day 1 Easy- Jan Van Eyck

​

Every Prophet’s Name

I found completeness when every breath began to silently say the name of my Lord.

That name, my conception of him, extended to me a hand that led to a place where even HIS divine name could not exist... Why?

Most sounds express discontent, longing or negotiation. The tea pot may whistle out an ecstatic cry, but even that I have learned to control until everything I knew burst into a glorious symmetry.

I have no seam, no walls, no law.
My frontiers and God’s are the same.

One Divine Being IS existence.
All the forest on this earth are but one tiny wood fibre, a particle in one spoke on the Universal wheel.

What is the relationship of form to the unseen aspects of God?
What percentage of God is unseen?
What percentage of the Truth of him do we Know?


He led me to a place where only Light existed.
Yet only in Us is God so lost that he asks questions.

The Soul outside all walls never troubled him, never wondered things like, “Where are you my Beloved?”

For now your arms and God’s arms are intertwined!

I said to my Lord, “This Holy Place I have entered...is Your Name the only key to it?”

My Lord replied, “How old do you think existence is? For Eons of time souls have been entering Me. Every prophet’s Name is a key... as is every Heart full of forgiveness and Love.

-Saint Theresa of Ávila...with a little Bernice flavour.

“What is your purpose?” is the question in 12 days journal #359

Encore Commitment! "Kinda"

I commit for the next 12 days to do...nothing in particular. Easy hey?!



I have to tie up some loose blog ends. I finished the commitment to this project as it was designed by yours truly. I am satisfied and proud as hell. Now though I want to smooth some things out.

When this whole crazy thing began I wasn’t blogging. The first blog entry was submitted on April 9th, on Day 11 of my commitment to cleanse my system. I also did not start making 12 days journals until I commited to climbing Pulpit Rock for 12 days. What this all means is I actually have to submit 3 more entries to have made an entry-a-day for a full year and I need 8 more journal questions to make 366, the number of days in a leap year. These things are important to me. I came this far...what is one more 12 day commitment?

It needs to be easy though, so I am committing to nothing. I will write an entry because I want these loose ends neat and tidy, but other than that I am going to do NO THING!

Day 12 Final Commitment- Begin again

I must have come up with at least 12 excellent ways to begin this last entry, some funny, some poignant, all deep. This feels like a lot of pressure, how can I come up with the ultimate ending? Too much pressure. ACK.

So what have I learned from all this? Well that I am tough as nails, but I always knew that. That I am a little bit crazy, again I knew that. How about that sacred sexuality, self determination, felt presence and real human connection are all essential ingredients of what make me Me. I learned that they are not negotiable anymore. I learned that transparency and truth are essential, but that they are to be respected because they have power. I learned also that I am powerful, and must remember humility. Being powerful with integrity means being responsible. If I am to remain awake I must be responsible for myself, take it seriously...and then remember not to take myself so seriously.

I have no idea how to explain how I feel today as this project ends. I know that my heart pushes at my rib cage. This blessed rib cage of mine, made of bone, cartilage, and connective tissue, all things less plastic than the heart they protect. My rib cage is having a hard time keeping up. My heart feels a melange of sadness, appreciation, fear, worry, joy , loneliness, hope, faith and love love love. As I sit in Oso Negro, my office for much of this project, the noise and energy is so vibratory that I need to step outside. It is a sunny spring holiday, and so many people are here, endless possibilities for human connection. Stepping outside was a good way to go. I spent over an hour talking out back, doing the work, knowing summer would bring even more of this time. This is what it is all about anyway, getting the most out of every moment, the luxury of ignoring this offering is no longer an option.

So the question is simply...what do I do next? Though I will surely try to complicate the answer, I am sure it too is simple. Easy. Part of “Easy” is doing some writing for other projects, ones with a more forgiving timeline, ones which pay well so that I can continue to create. I am looking to use what I have learned from this years project to contribute to what comes next. I will be watching for job opportunities which allows me the freedom to be just as I have been here on the blog, I am prepared for something beyond my imagination. How exciting! I have put it out there, and it is coming...easy.

As for reading the rest of the blog. I am in the process. I committed to it and I keep my commitments. I will however modify a commitment if it is causing me more discomfort than is healthy. When this happens I find a way to fulfill my commitments while staying true to me. This is why I changed how I was fulfilling this commitment, and why I have changed how I am fulfilling other commitments in my life. So I will address the last two months by saying merely this:

“Magical things happen in all of our lives, there is no scarcity. We call in exactly what it is we ask for. So ask...ask for what you want? Believe you deserve it. Believing is the key to exponential growth potential realized. Find the beauty, fully experience the magic, create, create, create and when it is time to let it go. Do... let go. Know that what is coming in next is beyond imagination. Life is easy if you play it forward this way. This is what I am learning from reading my story. I am also learning that I know a thing or two about commitment.”

I was sent this poem by sweet Mari, the circumstances were synchronistic, magical...I won’t go into details, but I will tell you that synchronistic magical moments happen all the time, everywhere, all anyone need to do is.... pay attention.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~ Mary Oliver ~

I know, and have for a while now, that first I must go walking on my own. It is time to believe in what I know.


(This picture of me was drawn today by Ed. Before it was finished coffee, Oso Negro coffee, was spilt on the drawing...perfect.)

“Where have you gone all by yourself?” is the question in 12 days journal #358. I would end by saying that this is the last journal ever...but it wouldn’t be true. There will be an encore, to tie up loose ends. And of course this project ends and another begins, so you have not lost me, I promise. I have had lots of encouragement to continue this work, and I will...I am just not sure how yet.

Oh and one more thing. 12 days journal #96 came home today. It was created on July 18th http://12days2inspire.blogspot.com/2009/07/day-3-communicate-3-level-check.html , the day after I posted this same poem on the blog. If you want a little insight into how I work here it is. I believe this journal coming back today has something to teach me. I haven’t gone to read which entry is associated with it yet. I have full faith in synchronicity, full faith that when I do go read this entry again I will find something new, or perhaps old, that is needed right now, and that this is the way I called it in. If I follow these synchronistic moments, moment to moment and remain present, I will learn what I need, I will be taken care of, and I will thrive... it’s all happening.

Thank you all...I love all of you so much. Thank you Thank you Thank you. I am off to read now....