“Perception is a choice and not a fact.
But on this choice depends far more
than you realize as yet.
For on the voice you choose to hear, and on the sights you choose to see,
depends entirely your whole belief in what you are.”
I may have read this 6 months ago and believed I knew what it meant, and in a way I did. Now though, after 6 months of peeling back the layers, I get it in a whole new way. I have learned to love myself a whole lot better, and the more I love myself, the more loveable I get, and the easier it gets to keep on loving myself. The more I love myself, the easier it is to love everyone around me. I still struggle some days. Today I walked through a storm created by two people who love each other so strongly, two people desperate to be heard, knowing this was imperative to cease the fading. At the end of the day I loved and loved and loved when I could have cried, could have felt pain. I choose to see what was right in front of me, to hear my own sweet voice running through my head reminding me over and over of the love that I have for so much and so many. I choose to hear and see what creates a belief in myself that brings comfort and joy. The amazing thing was when I held this mantra of self love, I could hear almost anything and not take it personally....almost anything. Imagine, this lesson finally coming at this time. If I wanted to be cynical I could say “To little too late”, but I choose faith, I know that everything is perfect, exactly as it is.
If I forget any of this will you please remind me?
Thank you.
Oh and I have one more,
“Reality cannot ‘threaten’ anything except illusions, since reality can only uphold the truth”
I am starting to understand this better, another layer was peeled on the understanding of this one today. I am getting better at seeing it. I am growing and as spring brings us these bright shiny days, my tender shoots will emerge from the ground. They will grow and grow and grow. All my hard work this winter, work which went virtually unseen, matted roots pushing against frozen ground, will give way to effortless growth; leaves unfurling soaking up the nourishing light.
Here is one last quote, it was spoken aloud to me tonight when I asked the question..
“Who are you?”
“I am light”, he says.
“Thank you...Who are you?”, I reply.
Yes you sure are.
“Who are you?” is the question in 12 days journal #327
Just to add a little humour to this string of “ugh” posts here is puppetji doing “Who am I?”...this one is my personal favourite.
Showing posts with label puppetji. Show all posts
Showing posts with label puppetji. Show all posts
March 5, 2010
December 7, 2009
Latest Commitment! 12 Days of Avoiding Burn Out
It may be of no surprise to you that this experiment is taking its toll on me, perhaps by reading about what is going on lately or maybe you knew from the get go that writing everyday, with no real breaks was enough to drive a person round the bend!? I had no idea when I started just how strongly this project would effect my life. So the short of it is.....I am feeling burnt out. I am about 9 months in, which is a fairly natural time to be feeling burn out I suppose. I have faith that once I get over this hump and come down the other side into spring, near the end of this experiment on April 5th, that the denouement will be easier, that resolution and reflection will emerge gracefully. For now though I need some comic relief.
It is Christmas, there is a fairly well know carol about 12 days round this time of year. I am going to relate my 12 day commitment to the 12 days of Christmas . Don’t expect much other more than a crazy stretch in relating the song to my daily commitment. Other than that I won’t be writing much.... I am taking a bit of a break!
I want to dedicate this commitment to my friend James, creator of Puppetji. We talked in the summer about doing this, he made many a funny joke, he is a VERY funny man. So James this commitment is inspired by you and your refreshing use of humour to deal with the day to day. I love you brother.
It is Christmas, there is a fairly well know carol about 12 days round this time of year. I am going to relate my 12 day commitment to the 12 days of Christmas . Don’t expect much other more than a crazy stretch in relating the song to my daily commitment. Other than that I won’t be writing much.... I am taking a bit of a break!
I want to dedicate this commitment to my friend James, creator of Puppetji. We talked in the summer about doing this, he made many a funny joke, he is a VERY funny man. So James this commitment is inspired by you and your refreshing use of humour to deal with the day to day. I love you brother.
September 21, 2009
Day 8 Pleasure Revolution- Simple Pleasures Three!
You and me and baby makes 3!
My friend Rachel, who gave me the gift of 3 1/2 days of relaxation and nothing to do but wait for baby, wrote the following as her status on facebook this evening.
“Skylah Rain arrived this morning @ 6:57. I am totally in love.”
Congratulations James, and Rachel, enjoy your wonderful little simple pleasure.
“What happened on the day you were born?” is the question in 12 days journal #161
P.S. If you don’t know, google it. I did this, it was very interesting.
My friend Rachel, who gave me the gift of 3 1/2 days of relaxation and nothing to do but wait for baby, wrote the following as her status on facebook this evening.
“Skylah Rain arrived this morning @ 6:57. I am totally in love.”
Congratulations James, and Rachel, enjoy your wonderful little simple pleasure.
“What happened on the day you were born?” is the question in 12 days journal #161
P.S. If you don’t know, google it. I did this, it was very interesting.
September 15, 2009
Day 2 Pleasure Revolution- County Mouse, City Mouse
Country Mouse, City mouse
One day Country Mouse decided to go see City Mouse, she hopped on a plane and flew a thousand miles to the big city by the ocean. City Mouse was so happy to see Country Mouse, because she loves her so, AND because she was about to welcome Baby Mouse. She was happy Country Mouse would be there to welcome Baby Mouse. Country Mouse was so happy to have been invited for this special special day.
The night Country Mouse arrived she slept in the living room, she was a little surprised how small City Mouse’s house was. She decided that here in the city, where lots of mice live, there isn’t so much room to spread out. She was a tiny bit afraid, she had heard stories of the big city by the ocean and had watched lots of silly movies which made her believe there were lots of robbers and bad guys. Country mouse decided maybe she shouldn’t believe those movies anymore, then she fell asleep.
In the morning they went with Mousi-ji, the papa of Baby Mouse, to go dance and have breakfast in a fancy city restaurant. Country mouse got a little schooled by the nice waiter, but he also rubbed City Mouses tummy so everything turned out OK. Then the four mice, one still neatly tucked inside her mama, went shopping. Country mouse bought sexy undies and a Marilyn Mousro dress for 10 bucks! Then City Mouse needed to nap, so they went back home to have a rest.
The next day City Mouse was feeling a little mousy she decided to take Country Mouse for a real treat. Country mouse took some of her country herbs and they set out on an adventure. Country Mouse got a little overwhelmed, couldn’t handle the Bed, Bath, and Beyond and wanted to get out of there. Then they went to Trader Joe's where the mice bought chocolate which made everything better. Next was the Korean spa, which was unlike anything Country Mouse had ever imagined, she told City Mouse she wanted to come back to the city by the ocean every month so she could live like a movie star! The mice went home clean and content.
While Country Mouse was having a whole lot of fun, she did wonder if she would ever get to meet Baby Mouse, but you know what they say:
“Baby mice come when baby mice are ready”
Another day came and so they set out on another adventure. City mouse had planned to go see Dr. Mouse this day (ok she was actually a midwife mouse, but it doesn’t have as nice a ring to it) Dr. Mouse weighed and poked and talked and told City Mouse she looked wonderful and healthy and had such a nice shiny coat. City Mouse was doing a very good job taking care of Baby Mouse. The mice left Dr. Mouse and went to get Vietnamese food. There was some more shopping and indulging and lots of talk about babies, boy mice and important mouse work that must be done in this crazy world.
In the afternoon City Mouse napped while Country Mouse rode a bike down to the ocean. Country mouse thought what a lovely holiday she had had, thought it would be nice to come visit more often, but that it was time to go back to where there were more trees and plants, where food grew and birds sang.
City mouse and Mousi-ji dropped Country Mouse off at the edge of town (Well... in Malibu). They hugged and kissed and said good-bye. Country Mouse was still a little sad she didn’t get to meet Baby Mouse, but she knows that “Baby mice come when baby mice are ready”
Thank you City Mouse and Mousi-ji...i love you and will keep you in my thoughts until Baby mouse arrives safely, and steals both your hearts away.
“What do you love about the city?” is the question in the front cover of 12 days journal #155
One day Country Mouse decided to go see City Mouse, she hopped on a plane and flew a thousand miles to the big city by the ocean. City Mouse was so happy to see Country Mouse, because she loves her so, AND because she was about to welcome Baby Mouse. She was happy Country Mouse would be there to welcome Baby Mouse. Country Mouse was so happy to have been invited for this special special day.
The night Country Mouse arrived she slept in the living room, she was a little surprised how small City Mouse’s house was. She decided that here in the city, where lots of mice live, there isn’t so much room to spread out. She was a tiny bit afraid, she had heard stories of the big city by the ocean and had watched lots of silly movies which made her believe there were lots of robbers and bad guys. Country mouse decided maybe she shouldn’t believe those movies anymore, then she fell asleep.
In the morning they went with Mousi-ji, the papa of Baby Mouse, to go dance and have breakfast in a fancy city restaurant. Country mouse got a little schooled by the nice waiter, but he also rubbed City Mouses tummy so everything turned out OK. Then the four mice, one still neatly tucked inside her mama, went shopping. Country mouse bought sexy undies and a Marilyn Mousro dress for 10 bucks! Then City Mouse needed to nap, so they went back home to have a rest.
The next day City Mouse was feeling a little mousy she decided to take Country Mouse for a real treat. Country mouse took some of her country herbs and they set out on an adventure. Country Mouse got a little overwhelmed, couldn’t handle the Bed, Bath, and Beyond and wanted to get out of there. Then they went to Trader Joe's where the mice bought chocolate which made everything better. Next was the Korean spa, which was unlike anything Country Mouse had ever imagined, she told City Mouse she wanted to come back to the city by the ocean every month so she could live like a movie star! The mice went home clean and content.
While Country Mouse was having a whole lot of fun, she did wonder if she would ever get to meet Baby Mouse, but you know what they say:
“Baby mice come when baby mice are ready”
Another day came and so they set out on another adventure. City mouse had planned to go see Dr. Mouse this day (ok she was actually a midwife mouse, but it doesn’t have as nice a ring to it) Dr. Mouse weighed and poked and talked and told City Mouse she looked wonderful and healthy and had such a nice shiny coat. City Mouse was doing a very good job taking care of Baby Mouse. The mice left Dr. Mouse and went to get Vietnamese food. There was some more shopping and indulging and lots of talk about babies, boy mice and important mouse work that must be done in this crazy world.
In the afternoon City Mouse napped while Country Mouse rode a bike down to the ocean. Country mouse thought what a lovely holiday she had had, thought it would be nice to come visit more often, but that it was time to go back to where there were more trees and plants, where food grew and birds sang.
City mouse and Mousi-ji dropped Country Mouse off at the edge of town (Well... in Malibu). They hugged and kissed and said good-bye. Country Mouse was still a little sad she didn’t get to meet Baby Mouse, but she knows that “Baby mice come when baby mice are ready”
Thank you City Mouse and Mousi-ji...i love you and will keep you in my thoughts until Baby mouse arrives safely, and steals both your hearts away.
“What do you love about the city?” is the question in the front cover of 12 days journal #155
September 12, 2009
Day 11 Walkabout- L.A.
I haven’t really been speaking about my current commitment a whole lot, I notice this as I fly through the air towards Sacramento, California, my last stop before Los Angeles. I have walked a little more than normal, but I fully admit the vague nature of this commitment has translated into a vague level of commitment. Lesson learned.
I did walk yesterday, walked away from my house in anger and found the swing which has brought me much solace in this turbulent time. Later I walked back to the house, calmer, having spent a good amount of energy pumping away my tumble of emotions. Swings are great for this. When I arrived home I ended up in a heated conversation with my husband and his partner, there were tears, accusations, hugs and expressions of understanding. Eventually Michael came home from work and then there were four of us talking. We talked and talked and talked until we all went to bed. There were pit stops along the way, one to sample the mash potatoes Rosy had made all by herself and eat a quick dinner with my mom and the girls; another for Michael to read to Rose before bed and for me to lie with her until she fell asleep. And then we all talked some more. Perhaps I should have made this the commitment of talking rather than walking, at least that way I would be doing the commitment in a manner which didn’t feel kinda like faking it.
That was yesterday, today I am en-route to LA, to be with my VERY pregnant friend Rachel and her talented partner James, of Puppetji fame. They are having a baby, and if I have any say (which I don’t) the baby will be born while I am there. Today is actually Rachel's due date, which means nothing since babies come when babies are ready. The plan for the 4 glorious days I get to spend with these 2 (3?) is to frolic, have fun, kick back, hang, and if I am blessed, be there for the birth of a wonderful little light being.
Preparing for the birth of 3 babies has taught me that WALKING is great for bringing on labour. So I will finally be making good on my commitment. I plan to walk round Venice Beach with a glorious pregnant Goddess and my favourite puppeteer, and walk a baby right on into this world. Imagine that?! If the final day of the walking commitment culminated in the birth of a baby...wow. Makes me think that maybe I want to do it again...maybe ;o)
In case you are not familiar with Puppetji...have a look.
Oh right a question, I almost forgot. Hmmmm. How about.....“What is the story of your birth?“ for the question in 12 days journal #152
I did walk yesterday, walked away from my house in anger and found the swing which has brought me much solace in this turbulent time. Later I walked back to the house, calmer, having spent a good amount of energy pumping away my tumble of emotions. Swings are great for this. When I arrived home I ended up in a heated conversation with my husband and his partner, there were tears, accusations, hugs and expressions of understanding. Eventually Michael came home from work and then there were four of us talking. We talked and talked and talked until we all went to bed. There were pit stops along the way, one to sample the mash potatoes Rosy had made all by herself and eat a quick dinner with my mom and the girls; another for Michael to read to Rose before bed and for me to lie with her until she fell asleep. And then we all talked some more. Perhaps I should have made this the commitment of talking rather than walking, at least that way I would be doing the commitment in a manner which didn’t feel kinda like faking it.
That was yesterday, today I am en-route to LA, to be with my VERY pregnant friend Rachel and her talented partner James, of Puppetji fame. They are having a baby, and if I have any say (which I don’t) the baby will be born while I am there. Today is actually Rachel's due date, which means nothing since babies come when babies are ready. The plan for the 4 glorious days I get to spend with these 2 (3?) is to frolic, have fun, kick back, hang, and if I am blessed, be there for the birth of a wonderful little light being.
Preparing for the birth of 3 babies has taught me that WALKING is great for bringing on labour. So I will finally be making good on my commitment. I plan to walk round Venice Beach with a glorious pregnant Goddess and my favourite puppeteer, and walk a baby right on into this world. Imagine that?! If the final day of the walking commitment culminated in the birth of a baby...wow. Makes me think that maybe I want to do it again...maybe ;o)
In case you are not familiar with Puppetji...have a look.
Oh right a question, I almost forgot. Hmmmm. How about.....“What is the story of your birth?“ for the question in 12 days journal #152
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