Day 9 New Friend- Housekeeping

Today feels like a housekeeping day. I have heard from a few folk about journals and have yet to put it here on the blog. So here is the skinny:

• The Open Heart Letter which was sent to Salt Lake City with 12 days journal #15 was received. My good friend Matthew said he was speechless, which while heart warming, doesn’t make for great blogging. (You know I love ya brother)
• Chris, my partner, was hand delivered an Open Heart Letter with 12 days journal #16 inside. He has sent it away to Manitoba to a dear friend who was in our wedding nearly 12 years ago (can you flippin believe that? I still feel 22 how could I have been married 12 years?!)
• I had been keeping this project a bit of a secret, slowly coming out with it. I had wanted to keep it a secret from my kids until they got their Open Heart Letter and 12 days journal #19, but yesterday My eldest let it slip that she knew about the experiment. She saw a journal in town, recognized it from the ones hangin round our house, read it, and found the website. There is no keeping secrets from a 13 year old. She didn’t however remember which journal she had seen. Bummer. Incidentally their letter and journal still sit in our mailbox, I haven’t had all 3 kids in one place all week, I want them to discover it in the mailbox together.
• Just today I FINALLY mailed the Open Heart Letter containing 12 days journal #14. It took me till now to get her address as she was off in Europe being her fabulous self.
• 12 days journal #21 which was sent to yours truly by...well yours truly, arrived today. I have not opened it yet, I want to wait until my children are asleep. I want to be alone, perhaps in a warm bath, when I open it. When I can really take in what I wrote to me just over a week ago.
• I started a facebook group where you can find out about events, and updates. You can join here.

Yesterday was the first day I came out with this project full force on facebook. It also is the day I received more views of the blog than any other. So the blog side of things is going well. I admit to getting impatient on the journal side of things though. I want for the answering of the daily question to be a big past of this. I WANT PARTICIPATION! I would love to hear from YOU! Ya you, who is reading this right now. It would be easier to be patient in waiting for the journals to return home if there was some back and forth right now about the questions being asked....SO...PLEASE use the comment section below each entry to write comments or better yet answer the daily question. I know a very important part of being able to answer freely is anonymity so I have set up this blog to allow anonymous posting if you prefer. Just don’t post anything you will regret...SPEAKING OF REGRETS....(how's that for a cheesy segue?) When I outed my eldest daughter last night on knowing all about the experiment I did so by asking her what she thought a good question would be. She came up with a great one; “Is there something in your past you would like to make amends for?” which went inside 12 days journal #30. which brings me to today’s stranger. First off I have to say...this stranger thing is hard! It wasn’t in California but has been since I got home. Like yesterday I fretted all days and just when I thought I might have to give up.....

I was in the office supply store buying journal labels when I heard an acquaintance and a TOTAL STRANGER, talking about purchasing journals, discussing which were best. I butt my nose right in and and sang the virtues of my beloved moleskine’s, the only journal I use for the 12 days journals. The womyn asked “Really? what do you use them for?”. Right there in my hand was 12 days journal #30, we chatted briefly about the project and I asked if she would take the journal. She agreed...phew! Only 3 more strangers to go...

Day 10 Open Heart Letter- Home again

I am sitting in the Spokane airport. I am suppose to be in Marin by now, but I missed my earlier flight. As I sit here I wonder if I missed the flight on purpose, if I am delaying this trip just a few hours more. I LOVE going to California, for so many reasons. It was my sanctuary for many many months. I am completely convinced that Chris’ injury is a blessing, but there were days when it was just too overwhelming. Having another home to go to, where responsibilities were few was welcome medicine. I have had a few homes in the Bay area. At first I stayed with a dear friend out in Walnut Creek, she opened her heart and her home to me despite this not being her usual way. She tells me I made it easy. I then began to stay with another friend in Mill Valley, he recently moved to Salt Lake City, and was the recipient of 12 day Journal #16. Since October of 2008 I have stayed out in Woodacre. Woodacre is how I always imagined Northern California to be, long before I ever visited. Towering redwoods, roads wind through hodge podge neighbourhoods filled with quaint homes oozing soul. The opposite to the kitch American suburb. Trails out my back door and only an 8 minute drive to Fairfax. A full service laid back community with all the amenities I could ever want. All this was second though to the comfort of coming home to the friend who shared this space with me. It felt for a long while like I had two homes. But as is the way of the world, things change, circumstances change. Change is a good thing, I know this. I have no doubts that there are many more homes and experiences for me on the horizon. I sit here in Spokane watching people que up to board our plane to California and know I am about to go and meet this change. I am ready....kinda. I am also tired and long to know the bed I sleep in tonight, to know exactly where I am going, to be greeted by an old friend who will understand. I long to go home again.

So today in honour of “home“ I send something back to Canada to my home there. To my 3 little wonders who make my home messy, and loud and such a comfortable place to be. I love my children so very much. They amaze, astound and inspire me. I thank god everyday for choosing me to raise them, what an honour and wild ride it has been. I will be sending them 12 days journal # 19. They are only vaguely aware of the 12 days experiment. They know I have been writing in little journals, Rose has seen me drop one at the top of Pulpit rock. But I have not formally introduced them to my plans for the next 300+ days. This feels like a fun way to include them. For me it is a way to remind myself of how blessed I am to have so many places in this world where I am welcome, places that if only for a night I can call home. Not everyone is as fortunate as I am. The question in todays journal reads, ”What do you love about your home?“

Day 7 Open Heart Letter- Unstoppable!

Ah facebook, the networking tool of our times. My “status” currently reads:

Magdelene just ran 7 kilometres in the barely lit night to swim in Kalamalka Lake, stood naked on the shore howling at the waxing crescent moon...and is UNSTOPPABLE!

I do this to proclaim to the world that I feel fan-friggen-tastic! My morning did not start well. I stayed in bed far longer than I like to. There were harsh words in my house this morning. Family life is not always easy. Sullen faces, avoidance of eye contact, grunted verbal retorts seemed to be on the breakfast menu...not that I ate any. Then slowly the day began to wash away the anger of the morning. There was sweet milky coffee, and a shared joke with the womyn who made it for me. I cracked my first smile. Then some Laddhu’s from the local Krishna food joint. Sugar is so gosh darn comforting. After a shared Indian wrap and a long car ride we were back on speaking terms.

I live in a wonderful mountain town of 10, 000 people that is situated on a pristine lake. Lovely skiing in the winter on gobs and gobs of pillowy powder. With our many lakes, streams and rivers there is much fun to be had during our smoking hot summers as well. The one thing our town does not have is full medical services. We have what anyone might need if they say, got hit by a bus, but for more specialized needs we must travel five hours to the city of Kelowna. Home of the notorious OgoPogo, Canada's answer to the loch ness monster. My partner sustained a head injury nearly 2 years ago and so we make regular visits to his Neuro-Psychologist in this lively vineyard city. So when I say a long car ride I wasn’t kidding!

By the time we neared Kelowna the morning had been forgotten. Since completing my 12 day Pulpit Rock commitment I have been missing daily sweating in the outdoors. So we stopped at a trail near one of my favourite lakes and set off for a hike before dinner. Originally we had not planned to run all the way to the Lake, it was 3.5 kilometres each way and the sun had just set. Once we got going, though, we just couldn’t stop. And once I got to the shore I still couldn’t stop. There is something about a natural body of water that always has me tearing off my clothes no matter the weather or circumstance. There is still snow up on the dessert mountains here in the Okanagan, the water was chilly, but my body was coursing with warm blood and it felt fantastic. My whole life I have had this, this soul salve, the transformative feeling of raising my heart rate, blood coursing, bringing my body alive, it is a gift. I love being active. It boosts my confidence, my love for my body, my love of the outdoors. I have known my partner for nearly 17 years, and for most of that we have been a couple. We have many things we do well together, and this is one of them. Being active together has meant sharing the times that our confidence and awareness is at its peak. He has encouraged me through three children, many injuries and general inertia, with love and humour, to get off my butt and claim this natural endorphin high. And so less than 12 hours from a nasty morning fight we stood on the shore of a beautiful mountain lake, naked and dripping wet as a happy couple. We are a formidable set, strong and committed. We do things a little differently in our relationship, some of our ways seem strange to others. We are certainly not ordinary, but we work, and the proof is in the pudding, old pudding from 1993! Everything from this mornings argument is not forgotten, there are still things to be worked out, there always will be, such is the nature of relationship. But at the end of this day our love is strong with roots that run miles deep. This is the power of a 17 year commitment.

12 days journal #16 will be hand delivered in Kelowna, BC to my naked swimming partner. Inside the front cover it asks “What do you do that makes you feel really alive?”