May 12, 2010

Day 3- Harder Than I Thought.


Reintegrating this blog into my life has proved more difficult than I expected, in a really bizarre way that I never imagined. It is not that I don’t want to write, I really miss writing, I haven’t felt nearly as inspired since I quit. What I am working on figuring out is how to adapt my posting and editing skills to this new not-a-commitment. They were so regimented before, in a laissez faire sort of way. Now they are laissez faire in a no direction kinda way. I have scads of half written posts and TONS of ideas but writing and editing later became my habit. With my new desire to be authetic, present, now, by the time I edit the entry is no longer current and then I decide not relevant (or something) so I haven’t proceed to publishing any of them. Ugh.... self direction has never been my strong point. It is why I create things like There is so much I want to do, write, paint, dance, build community, perform, travel. I am struggling with finding a direction, well that is not true, I am struggling to STICK with A direction.

I wrote a grant last week, with a deadline. Perfect. Wouldn’t you know it, I manage to be involved with writing two grants, finding profit numbers, and networking the projects along the way. I did this while working with two different partners. It was fabulous. You know what the grant writing and this blog have in common? Deadlines. I work well with deadlines...I just don’t like them. Or maybe it is just that I don’t like too many of them. I am definitely liking not having the heavy commitment of the 12 days project on my shoulders, I do see though how I created my own deadline and managed to be more efficient.... Double Ugh. Finding the balance between inspiration, motivation, discrimination, perspiration, concentration, and dedication is a six sided dance, a tetrahedron of body, mind, and spirit.

Speaking of math. Here is an amazing short. A mathematical explanation for the beauty of the world. It is set to music that can be felt in the heart and has kick ass visuals. I wonder if the soundtrack is somehow based on the Fibonacci sequence? That would be the full meal deal!

I watched it over and over.... math makes sense when I watch it this way..

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