1-11-11

I woke up early this morning in a funk. I knew that I didn’t want it to continue so I got out of bed with a plan to slip away for some alone time. About 5 minutes later, after some sound negotiating, I left the room with Lily and Rosy in tow... already things were not going according to plan.

We worked out that I would give them money and they would buy themselves breakfast while I wrote in my journal. I made it clear that I needed space and alone time.

While I was ordering their breakfast they played on the beach with some town dogs. Wait... this wasn’t the plan!

I like dog culture here in Mexico, perhaps because by their standards we are very responsible dog owners. Here if you own a dog you collar it and let it roam, I believe it take a village to raise a dog (any of you who have seen Dotty or Dixie wandering town KNOW what I am talking about!) My kids being very used to this mentality of dog ownership did their part, while waiting for their fruit platter, to protect a tiny mangy poodle from a much larger male dog who had taken a liking to her.

When breakfast came I went to find the girls... ya, the plan had basically disintegrated but I was getting some alone time so I didn’t sweat it. I am getting used to plans changing, they seem to change hourly lately.

Breakfast lasted about 2 hours, I doodled, talked with our very cute waiter in my ever increasing vocabulary of Spanglish. During the meal I watched the town wake up. We have arrived at a very exciting time. Just as the winter holiday tourists are leaving, town is filling with pro surfers and spectator. We had no idea upon arrival that we were to be smack dab in the middle of a pro surf event.

And just as we were about to leave Sayulita we were asked if we would volunteer at the event.

Since we are travelling to experience the unexpected opportunities which the Universe places in our way we said... hmmm....HECK YA!! To hang out with pro surfers, get a look behind the scenes at a real live surf event, how cool is that? We are still leaving Sayulita though. The Event is held in the neighbouring artist community of San Francisco, known locally as San Pancho.

While I am excited about this change in plans I have mixed feeling about not getting on the road. I am eager to move towards Chiapas. I love the beach and surfing but there is something deeper that pulls. I am hungry to go feel the ruins, to meet the Mayan people in the land where their culture still permeates.

There is also an even stronger pull to leave Nayarit. I want to distance myself from the temptation of attending the 7:7:7:7 gathering, an event I planned to attend way back in November.

It seemed perfect back then, this gathering based on principals and numbers that make so much sense to me. It was my one scheduled stop on the way to Chiapas. I still feel called to attend but there is a major obstacle to following this call, and for the first time in a long time I don’t know that I can share it here on the blog. This is a curious thing that I have noticed lately, that I feel reluctant to share fully here. It is the reason I haven’t posted in a while. I don’t like it.

As for whether I will be attending the gathering, I don’t have an answer yet. I am sure late registration won't be an issue. It isn’t happening for nearly 2 weeks so I don’t have to know yet. For now we have a surf competition to help make happen... I never would have imagined... isn’t it great how things don’t always go as planned?

The Dawning... Water and Fire

Friday the 7th... of course this entry would come at the culmination of the first 7 day cycle in a new Gregorian year.

It came to me today, I am here NOW to experience La Nina, this I KNOW. I came to Mexico while her feminine is running wild, and of course I came to experience it in the land of the sun, the land of fire. I am in town which is struggling to keep its main industry alive despite economic downturn and a recent drop in tourism due to fear of violent crime. As if this wasn’t enough they are being taunted by the unpredictable flow of ocean river and rain, bridges washed out, main streets ripped up, plumbing failing... Aya Curamba!

Since I have arrived the feminine and masculine aspects of nature have finally agreed to work things out, they are my teachers . The moon agreed to allow the suns light to leave her, to be cleansed, made new while full. She became whole, all things at once. The sun became a crescent, softening his edges, opened himself to understanding the moons often overlooked duty as the one who carries light at a time of darkness. Today I understand how these things fit together. Today I went into ceremony.

Today I finally tasted a Mexican delicacy which I have wanted to experience since I arrived. I found it in a womyn name Alicia... a Goddess as complete and lovely as the moon when she is full and new, and as a sun who embodies a moon to know her soul.

Thank you Alicia. Thank you for being one of my Angels.

“Who are your Angels?” is the questions for today’s journal.



And while water runs amuck here in Mexico, fire has laid his hand on my home town of Nelson, British Columbia. The Kerr, a beautiful old building that housed nearly 50 community members is now a charred stone shell. The night before it burned Chris and I were talking about how Nelson could really use a Plaza. Every Mexican town seems to have one, a natural gathering place in the middle of town where community organically happens. No need for a potluck or even a meeting time, just show up at the plaza to see who’s there. I imagined this plaza in Nelson would have to be close to Oso, which is already a natural gathering spot. I said to Chris that the lot where the Kerr was would be perfect. Imagine my shock when I logged on the next day to see the images of it in flames.

So many people lost their homes, I don’t even know yet if there were lives lost, I haven’t had good enough internet access to read about the grieving. I have heard via an email from my mother that the community is gathering to support the residents of the Kerr. A historic building with a strong shadow side which housed many community members who struggle to make ends meet. A friend of mine was suppose to be housesitting in the building that day, he was the first I thought of. I felt sick until I knew he was ok. It helped me to feel how much I love him, how big a hole would be left if he were to disappear from my life.

A phoenix always rises from the ashes. Cleansing can be painful and the loss of this monument like building will be felt for a long while in Nelson. My hope is that the phoenix in this situation will be a new plaza and open air city block, maybe with two of the walls left standing. I smile as I imagine it filled with benches and trees, a place for everyone. I am sending so much love home to you all, please take care of each other. Be each others Angels.

As for my Angel for today, sweet Alicia. I want you to know I have your mothers manuscript. You left it in your room. I have concocted many stories about why it got left behind. Maybe to cleanse, allow a phoenix to arise from the deaths you have experienced? Maybe it was an accident and I will get to bring it to you in L.A? I can visit my God daughter and you my newest God sister.

You are a bright beautiful light my love. Keep on balancing, in the water, on the snow, in your own heart. Balance is the key to beating 50/50 odds hun. No matter what happens you call if you need help, and I will come. <3

Movin Along

Turns out San Blas was NOT the perfect place to celebrate the new moon. We arrived just before dusk to find a community which has seen better days. The main street had been torn up possibly due to a flood which hit this area in September. All the places we found to park the camper were terribly overpriced. There is an entry for San Blas in our Lonely Planet travel guide, the place I was most excited to eat at seems to have vanished, the other have increased their prices dramatically. This town is not affordable, the beach is far away and not particularly safe for swimming. So we decided to leave. It wasn’t that we didn’t like it, the plaza was beautiful, the beach long and fairly uncrowded, but we only have 5 months left in Mexico and it makes no sense to stay anywhere we don’t love.

We found a place we love. Sayulita, Nayarit.



We left San Blas early and drove for less than 2 hours. It was a short beautiful drive which brought us to a bustling laided back town filled with locals, surfers, hippie, expats and a fair number of tourists. We are definitely here in high season but this town is small enough, and far enough from an airport that it has the perfect blend of exciting and chill.

Our whole family fell in love instantly. Well Ayla fell in “like”, which is all that can be expected of a teenager. We found a place to rent for a week. Actually Chris decided within minutes that we should stay a month but I reminded him that Chiapas and Guatemala are calling me and that there are MANY wonderful places with a delicious vibe here in Mexico.

Tomorrow the family is going to take our first surf lesson. We found a place with good WiFi so Ayla can catch up on her school work. There are Spanish lessons at a bookstore nearby, which is great because we all desperately need them. On the way here we nearly ran out of gas. Luckily I spied a place by the side of the road with huge bottle of gasoline, and Chris knew enough Spanish to determine if they had diesel as well. Two gentlemen siphoned 2 big jugs into the tank. We were down to fumes and prayers by the time we found these angels. If you know anything about diesel engines you can imagine how bad a situation running out of gas would have be. How does one arrange a tow to a diesel mechanic in a foreign language anyway? Yes learning Spanish is a darn good idea.

So my new moon ceremony this night will be in Sayulita. I am typing this entry while sitting next to Ayla. We are seated across the street from the local plaza. There are vendors, locals and not so locals roaming the streets. Live music is coming from a number of different restaurants and the food smells delicious so I am going to finish up and go eat.

The intentions for my ceremony tonight are becoming more clear. To find many beautiful places that I love along the way to the land of the Maya, to enjoy the journey while trusting the destination as my compass point towards truth. It is my intention to have fun along the way; to continue to trust my mending heart and KNOW that I will continue to find love.

“How easily do you change your mind?” is today’s question. I am glad I was able to change my mind about San Blas, although it wasn’t easy. There is something I left out. There was one thing about San Blas that I really wanted to stick around for. Someone I love very much is going to be there soon. I would have loved to see him again. I also know I need to follow where I am lead. Being led away from there was likely a sign that I am not meant to see him yet and as much as that hurts I need to trust my healing heart.