Day 9 Communicate- Habit

Ack....so much time communicating, in this commitment and the last, has meant falling behind on the blog. It is becoming a habit. A habitual pattern that I do not want to continue repeating yet I am. “What are your habits?” is the question in 12 days journal 102. I would like to write a great entry all about habits and patterns, how they get in the way of communication, but this habit of mine has translated into me sitting here with 2 more entries to write and a bunch of journals to make. My habit is getting in the way of me communicating with you the way I want to. Today’s entry is an example rather than an explanation. So from here on there will be no more insightful words, just the facts.

I have given away 6 journals today:

Jesse Lee got 12 days journal #95, “What are you addicted to?”. He told me had found another of my journals, he drew a picture in it, which is now his facebook profile pic.


Chris got another journal. 12 days journal #86, “How do you stay centred when life gets hectic?”

Kelly is a part of our family and so as I was passing out journals to love ones it was time I gave her one too. She got 12 days journal #80, “What special talent/light/gift do you share with the world, making it a richer place?”

My poet friend, Timothy, got 12 days journal #87, “What is your definition of family?“

Erin, the dancing goddess of commitment got 12 days journal# 98, “Who do you feel safe to share your deepest despair with? Why?”

And Finally I gave one to my dear dear love Richardo. Really I hardly know Richardo, we met in California, I recognized him, at Harbin Hot-springs, as the beyond gorgeous god of a man I would often drool over at Oso Negro back in Nelson. We spent an evening together, he introduced me to another friend, Tal, who had a profound effect on my life. Richardo and I see each other here in Nelson now and then, and although we only speak rarely, I love him, deeply, words are not always necessary. Richardo got 12 days journal #89, “How honest is/was your relationship with your parents?“ Ok this paragraph was a tiny bit insightful after all.

Day 2 Communicate- Addiction

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~ Mary Oliver ~

What happens when communicating honestly and openly is not met with the same? What happens when stepping up is not met with stepping up, but sitting down, with resolve, and resignation, with accusations of resentment rather than admissions of personal responsibility?

Have you ever had to let go of something you loved because it was just not good for you anymore? “What are you addicted to?“ is the question in 12 days journal #95