Day 12 Body of Water- Surprise!

I had today's entry all worked out in my mind. I was going to say something about the 12 days of swimming also turning out to be the 12 days of Michael. He arrived in Nelson on day one of this commitment, to drive me to the coast to work with the L.O.V.E Collective. We swam together that first day at Red Sands Beach. I have spent this entire commitment with him; him alone, him and the Love Collective, him and my husband and girls, and finally him and I alone again, as he drove me down over the border as I head back to school. The idea was for him to drop me at the Seattle airport after a swim, thus concluding the 12 days of swimming along with the 12 days of Michael.

Life is full of all kinds of surprises.

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This is Michael and I swimming in Chehailus, Washington, an hour beyond Seattle. As things turned out, I missed my flight. Since Michael had a bit of time before he needed to be in Nelson, we decided to drive to California. I will go to school, I am not sure what he will do. You just never can tell how a day is going to end.

“Is there a particular surprise which stands out in your memory?” is the question in 12 days journal #93 the final journal for this commit.

Day 11 Body of Water- Hiccups

We finally left the festival grounds today, time to let go of the experience. As we drove away, just beyond the gate the car began to sputter. We ran out of gas.

We chose the best spot to run out. It was just a matter of putting the car in reverse and rolling back into the festival site, no walking required. We went looking for friends with a vehicle to drive us to the gas station. We found a bunch, they were eager to help, offering suggestions along with offerings of food and comforts left over from the festival. A couple offered to let us syphon some gas from their vehicles, another to drive us to the station. Yet another suggested that there may be some gas left over from the generators which powered the music and lights. This, we decided, was the best first course of action. We wandered round looking for some one who looked official. A number of folks led us to Casey. Casey, one of the festival organizers, had run out of gas as well, he was going back to town in an hour and said he would take our jerry can and fill it. Then added, “There is that one jerry can over there, I doubt there is anything left in it, but if there is, it’s yours.” There was more than enough to get us across the island, over to the ferry and beyond. It was a bit of a hiccup, but one that could not have went more smoothly.

When we arrived at Blubber Bay for our first ferry we missed the 3:00pm by minutes. We wanted to park our car in line to make sure we made the next one, this meant waiting around for 2 hours at the ferry dock. I wondered how we were going to get in a swim. Just as this thought was turning to a worry, a van pulled up and a friend asked ”Do you guys know where the swimming quarry is?“ Before I could marvel at this synchronicity, Michael piped up, ”Ya sure, we will come with you and show you where it is!“ Another little hiccup which worked out fine, better than fine, it worked out refreshingly!

Michael and I took our longest swim yet, in the warmest water yet. It was warm because it was quarry water, no in flow, no out flow, just a big puddle of water which is warmed by the sun and the rocks each day. I grappled about whether it was a ”natural body of water“. Michael asked if my intention for the commitment had been fulfilled. My intention was to take a refreshing swim under the sun, in water without added chemicals. To swim surrounded by the Mother. My intention was fulfilled.

”How important is the intention behind a choice or action?“ is the question in 12 days journal #92

Day 10 Body of Water- Continued

“Diversity Festival is a 4 day, 3 night music festival that features artists from BC, Canada and abroad.
Festival highlights include 1 Band Stage, 1 Dj stage, workshops, art installations, interactive visuals, a vendors village, performance art and so much more.....

The festival grounds located on Texada Island at Shingle Beach Forest Service campsite are nestled amongst old growth trees, mossy bluffs covered with wind swept arbutus and juniper trees. Diversity Festival”

Today the festival ended. It was quite the time. I would elaborate but things are just too busy to do anything but say, life will never quite be the same!

We all (Chris, Michael, Kelly, Rosy, Lily and I) swam at a rock quarry on the way off the island, well that was the plan anyway. After the swim we realized we had to take a friends computer back to the festival site. We got back and there was still a huge crowd, music pumping. Looks like the good times don’t need to end just yet!

“How do you like to celebrate?” is the question in 12 days journal #91

Day 9 Body of Water- Howler

“B.C. man presumed drowned off Texada

A Vancouver man is presumed drowned after swimming in the ocean off Texada Island Friday night.

David Kevin Fletcher, 35, was reported missing on Saturday by friends who were with him at the Diversity music festival on Shingle Beach, on the island's lower west shore.

Fletcher's untouched clothes were found in a pile near the water, which indicates the man went in for a swim and did not come out, said Powell River RCMP staff Sgt. Andy Brinton.

Brinton said the waters were calm Friday night but the current can be strong along the coastline.”

I didn’t know that the man I have come to know as “Howler” was named David. I never met Howler, but I met many people at the festival, including Michael, who did. Howler it seems decided to walk into the ocean and ,by choice or circumstance, didn’t come back. It seems fitting that today was also the day that the winds howled, picking up the ocean, chopping it into waves making swimming impossible. So instead of swimming I ceremoniously washed my face, hands, and body in the cold ocean water, and thought about Howler. I thought of all the things I had learned about him. He almost always wore a jester hat, liked to bike naked and loved people with a deep and passionate heart; always willing to help. I will never know Howler, this is something that makes me sad.

“Is there someone you would like to know or know better?“ is the question in 12 days journal #90.

Be well Howler, wherever you are. My wish is that you have found what you were looking for. God speed.

Day 8 Body of Water- Transparency

Today Michael met the rest of my family. Kelly, Chris, Michael, Lily, Rosy and I spent the day swimming in the ocean, listening to music, dancing and getting to know each other at the 7th Annual Diversity Festival on Texada Island, British Columbia, Canada.

“How honest is/was your relationship with your parents?“ is written in the front cover of 12 days journal #89

Day 7 Body of Water- Crossing the Water

Today is a travelling day. Our journey includes 4 ferry crossings, it likely will take us 12 hours, to make it 30 kilometres, as the crow flies, from our starting point. This is the reality of island travel. The up side is we have to “hurry up and wait” a lot. Waiting for 4 ferries means lots of visiting, meeting new people, unexpected events and lots of down time. On the first trip cross the water this morning we met a man. He told me his name, but I won’t attempt to write it. He told me in his native tongue and it includes many sounds not represented on this limited keyboard. He was born around Powell River, his people have lived in the area for thousands of years. He sang us a traditional song which is sung when crossing the water. As he sang I danced, Michael sang along, Noel drummed. I didn’t know at the time but Steve took a photo, I am glad he did. I am happy to have had this magical moment to share with you.

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Just before leaving Cortes Island a crew from the L.O.V.E collective swam (NAKED), for likely the last time this summer, in Hague Lake. I have forgot to mention before now that I have swum naked everyday except once. Perhaps I should have made this the “swimming naked everyday for 12 days commitment”!

“What do you love about summer?” is the question in 12 days journal #88

In the summer I am naked more than in the winter, and this nakedness often happens around other, usually when swimming or sunbathing. When I am naked more, when I am around others who are naked more, I am kinder to myself about how my body looks. I find I am gentler with the idea of what my body is “suppose” to look like in the summer, this is one of the many things I love about summer.

We are off to the Diversity Festival on Texada Island. Festivals are another thing I love about summer!

Day 6 Body of Water- Family

Laundry day! As the washer cycled, Michael and I went for a coffee at Trude’s Cafe. This is where I left 12 days journal #81, and where I decided to give 12 days journal #84 to myself and 12 days journal #83 to Michael. While our clothes dried we paid a visit to The Gathering Place, where we were given a tour of this amazing community, ate breakfast straight from the garden, and caught up on each others lives. Back to fold the laundry, then off to the debrief from the show last night, and a closing circle which would decided the fate of the L.O.V.E Collective, and finally a group swim in the ocean at Galen’s Beach.

As I am keeping my entries short this commitment, I will leave the description of the meeting at this. While the L.O.V.E Collective is not continuing in this current incarnation, it is still alive as a concept and a force. It will, by either the same name or another, reconfigure at some point, when it does I will be a part of it. Until then the members are scattering. Some I likely will not see for many moons, others I will see often. Michael announced to the group he is moving to Nelson to start a family.

“What is you definition of family?“ is the question in 12 days journal #87

Day 5 Body of Water- Just Not There

Still no pictures, the days have been too full of performances, rehearsals, circles, and travel to do anything but keep up. No words either, just a question

“How do you stay centred when life gets hectic?” is in 12 days journal #86, which doesn’t actually exist yet as I haven’t had a chance to make it yet.

Oh wait I do have some words. I went swimming in Hague Lake with Joelique today. I actually SWAM, like for real swimming. The day was warm, the lake was great, the company sweet. Cortes Island is a true paradise being here with the L.O.V.E Collective makes it that much sweeter.

Day 4 Body of Water- Moonlight

Radio shows, ferries, cars that won’t start, good laughter, relational deepenings, relational strains, dogs, pee stops, food, scattered travellers on an epic road trip, all added up to me realizing, at nearly midnight, that I had yet to swim. I considered lying to you all; I was freezing and the idea of going out into the rainy night to slip into a mountain lake sounded torturous. Michael lovingly encouraged me, nudged me out into the clouded full moon night. We walked slowly towards the lake, wrapped in blankets. Talking about the journey we had been on this last few days. Michael is in the last leg of his tour with the L.O.V.E Collective, his brain and heart child. I am with them for the first time, just as this particular incarnation of the group is ending. Michael and I have formed a very deep friendship steeped in mutual goals, loves, and desires. We are blessed with similar communication models, which makes understanding each other so easy. Ease...blessed ease.

We arrived at the lake and jumped in. By “jumped” I mean walked very slowly, hands clutched round our bodies, making a huge fuss about how bloody cold it was. The lake here on Cortes Island, Hague Lake, is actually incredibly warm for a Canadian lake, but this didn’t seem to make any difference. It was COLD!

Since this commitment began I have been curious as to what exactly constitutes “swimming” in a natural body of water? You should know that I haven’t exactly been swimming laps! Michael decided that so long as both my feet come off the ground, it was “swimming”.

As soon as both my toes breached the surface of the water, I was out of there! Michael was braver, he dove in, but quickly followed me out.

We walked home, wrapped tightly in our blankets. The rain let up, a small patch of sky appeared, and the full moon made a cameo appearance. Michael and I have known each-other for exactly a moon cycle and a day....I think after many, many more cycles pass that we will still be walking in the moonlight together, working as partners, doing the work of our hearts.

The question of what constitutes “swimming” made my friend Joelique think of “What is enough?”. I wondered how I could mould this question into something that would be easy to answer, but decided the question was enough. And so this is how it is written in 12 days journal 85, which will be given to Joelique.

Day 3 Body of Water- Freedom

Michael and I swam in the Pacific ocean today off the coast of Victoria. It was likely the shortest swim I will take this commitment, it was damn cold!

I also left 12 days journal# 78 and 12 days journal #79 at the Moka House on Cook Street in Victoria.

“What is freedom?” is the question in 12 days journal# 84


“So freedom and love go together. Love is not a reaction. If I love you because you love me, that is mear trade, a thing to be bought in the market;
it is not love. To love is not to ask anything in return, not even to feel that you are giving something- and it is only such love that can know freedom.”
J. Krishnamurti

Day 2 Body of Water- Anger

We woke up this morning in Rock Creek, then took a morning swim in the Kettle River, one of my all time favourite swimming spots. What a wonderful way to start the day! Then we drove, and drove, and drove, fuelled by so many cherries that my belly is SORE! When we arrived at the coast we boarded a ferry to sail across the George Straight to Victoria BC. We had a strange, sad and frightening experience on the ferry.

Before boarding Michael and I were giggling, rolling around and being very playful on a the grassy patch which is mostly used for travellers dogs to relieve themselves. I usually explain to people that dancers can seem unusually cuddly, that we are used to playing and expressing ourselves with our bodies. Others can find this behaviour overt, they become uncomfortable. As I type this though I wonder if it is the dancing part of us which makes us this way, or the deeply compassionate part of us, that part so tapped into love that it shows up all over us, all around us? As we were being silly and having fun, finally out of the car after hours of driving, I became aware of a man in his mini van, spitting on the ground and saying “disgusting!” over and over again. I felt like it was directed at us, I physically felt the anger penetrate our playful bliss bubble. My mind though, being its eternal logical self, brushed this off. I couldn’t make sense of it; I mean why? Why would anyone be offended by what we were doing? Sadly my mind was wrong, my heart knew it was being judged. The angry man became more and more aggressive. I told Michael I needed to leave, I am very sensitive to this kind of energy. I would like to say I can roll it off my shoulders, not care what others think but this is just not the case. As we got up to walk away the man gave us the finger one more time with a huge smile on his face, I can only guess he was happy that we were leaving. I was shaken, and happy for the whole ordeal to be over.

We had planned to sleep in the car for the ride over the water but decided to go to the upper-deck first, to get drinking water. I went to the bathroom. As I came out I was washed over by a feeling which still makes my heart pound. Michael was not outside the bathroom waiting for me, I knew something was not right. I started searching for him, it was not hard, all I had to do was follow the yelling voice of a man filled with hate. A man who was saying terrible, violent things to Michael. When I came round the corner the man had already shoved Michael's face, sending him into a trash can. Something about my arrival had the angry man retreating, still saying terrible things, but less willing to be aggressive. I wondered later why this was, but was just grateful at the time. Michael was handling himself with composure and grace, staying true, in this moment of intense verbal violence, to his empathetic heart. He had removed his glasses because the man had already hit them, it was a reasonable thing to do, but I was afraid things would become more physical, that the angry man would take the removal of glasses as a sign of aggression. So I asked Michael if we could just leave, not try to work things out. Michael agreed. Then just as we did I spun on my heels, filled with a sudden rush of protectiveness, and asked the angry man to talk to me now. I could not understand what he was so angry about, I wanted to understand. What was it he thought was so “disgusting”? He refused to speak to me, he left. Later, in the car as we processed this experience, Michael wondered how this man could believed that what we were doing, or even what he PERCEIVED we were doing, could in anyway justified to hitting another person and telling him “Your lucky I don’t rip your throat out and throw you over board”?

All I can come up with is that this man saw two people experiencing joy, laughter and love, and that somewhere deep inside he wanted these experiences, these feelings more than anything in the world, realized that he didn’t know how, and instead reacted with the only emotion he could access. It is my deepest wish that this “angry man” finds peace, love and joy, and that he never attack anyone like he did Michael ever again. And since I am an optimist and believe that anything is possible, I am going to add...and so it is!

“What scares you about love?“ is the question in 12 days journal # 83

Day 1 Body of Water- Haute Kooture

ACK! I give myself permission to slack of on writing and here I am two days late on this entry. So here is the skinny!

Michael arrived today. He came all this way knowing I had to make the trip to Victoria, a 14 hour journey, in a very short period of time. He hitchhiked out to share the driving, and so we could get to know each other better before doing the show with the L.O.V.E collective on the 6th. I am so happy he is here.

We went to Red Sands for my very first swim in the commitment. It was freezing and wonderful. There are great rocks on the beach to sun yourself after the cold plunge into the Glacial waters of Kootenay Lake. Red Sands is a clothing optional beach so I also got to go NAKED!

Later I modelled in the Day and Night fashion event, showcasing local designers. There are so many funky fashions which come out of Nelson, many of them from eco and recycled fabrics. I was in yesterdays show as well which show cased Day wear, tonight was evening wear. I got to wear some of the very talented Becky Norris’ fashions. As soon as I was done on the runway I dash out, to start the long drive to Victoria with Michael. It wasn't until it was too late to turn back that I realized I was still wearing the dress I had modelled, a gorgeous sparkly brown frock with an abbreviated asymmetrical hem line, lots of ruffles and a deep plunging neckline. My hair was big, my make up bold and when I walked into 7-11 at midnight to get gas, there were a fair number of stares.... high eco fashion is the perfect attire in which to start road trip!

None of the photo’s from the fashion show turned out, but perhaps some will show up on facebook, apparently due to the minimal length of my dress, there are a number of shoots which are intimate in nature, I can only hope people are kind enough to NOT post these ones!

“Do you have a story from a memorable road trip?” is the question in 12 days journal 82, which I am going to give to my new friend Seth who I met through Micheal, he was in the kitchen at the Point Street House when I was trying to come up with today’s question, it sounds as though her just came back from an epic bike trip, I am sure he has a few stories!