Day 2 Karma Yoga- When Help Doesn't

I was sad and preoccupied most of my day. The morning was nice, I dropped the kids at school, went for coffee then snuck away to write to a dear sweet friend who I have been wanting to write a long juicy email to. Then things got hectic. Just as I was about to start writing I got a phone call from daughter #2:

“Mr. H wants you to bring me my recorder and recorder books, they are up at the house”

My 25 minutes of leisurely writing time has now been whittled to 4 minutes tops! I send off a quick email. Rush up to the house, can’t find any of what she is looking for, and, in looking for it so long have become late for daughter#3’s year end forest walk and BBQ. When I finally get to the school I run up and tell daughter #2 I couldn’t find her recorder, she feels let down. I run through the woods to find daughter #3’s class, she too feels let down that I was late. After some potlucking and socializing, we all walk back to the school for closing circle. I am waiting outside of the other kindergarten classroom because my Karma yoga for today is picking up a friends daughter, so she could have her lunch hour to herself. I am not aware of the time, I just sit outside the classroom, waiting. Eventually my friends daughter is brought out to me. Daughter #3 is crying in my arms at this point, she is sad to be leaving the only teacher she has ever known. She is a sensitive soul and feels things so deeply. My mom is with us, so I ask the teacher to take my friends daughter over to her, who takes her caterpillar hunting. Finally we all congregate in the parking lot. I take daughter #3 while my mom takes my friend's daughter to her grandmother. What a busy couple of hours! At this point daughter #3 and I go to get a drink and meet my friend. I am completely unaware that during the course of this time, something has gone sideways.

When I meet up with my friend, the one who was suppose to have had a lovely hour to herself, she is upset, mostly with me. As it turns out while I was sitting out front of her daughters classroom, the teachers were inside trying to figure out where I was. They had missed me in the crowd of kindergarten parents outside thinking I had not shown up. My friend was frantically trying to find me, or anyone, to pick up her daughter. She was worried because she knows her daughter gets very upset when she is not picked up right on time. Plus her grandmother is wondering where the heck I am?! The situation had caused fear, hurt feelings and confusion. My friend was shaken, mostly at the fact that I had arrived aloofly checking my phone messages, she had spent a frantic half an hour of which I was blissfully unaware. She left without talking to me, she was angry. This was not how the Karma Yoga was suppose to work!

I didn’t speak to my friend till late that evening. I was preoccupied by our disagreement all day. When we finally spoke there were tears. I love her so much and wanted her to know how much I honour her and her baby, how the whole thing had been a misunderstanding. We worked things out, it is such a relief!

So I don’t know what to say about today’s Karma Yoga. I imagined each day I would feel warm and fuzzy about what I had done. Warm and fuzzy did not show up today. At least not until after the sun went down and I sat sobbing on the edge of my tub telling my friend how much I loved her and how I didn’t mean to let her down. We made it through our first argument. I do think that we will be even closer after this... ah the silver lining!

“How do you deal with conflict?” will be put inside 12 days journal #59. I have decided to hold onto the last two Karma yoga journals. I will give them away when I am on my travels.

I am off to pack, and for more end of school madness. Heres hoping tomorrows Karma Yoga will be a little less painful!