Day 4 Asking For Help- Time Machine

“If you could go back in time, is there something you would change?” Is the question sent to me by Miss Fi. It will be put inside 12 days journal #49, which I will take it to her when we have coffee, this week...right Fi?

Fi’s answer was:

“I think I would try to explain the devastating impact that vehicles have had on the air quality and challenge people to build better cars. This seems good. hmm. I'd probably approach a somewhat influential and feminist minded gentleman with ideas and factual information to get the ball rolling in the right direction.”

Such a lofty aspiration! I admit when I read it I was thinking personal gain, and admittedly my initial thoughts were motivated by vanity. ’Hmmmm...if I could take back every dime I ever spent on sugary junk, my immune system would be in better shape, as would my thighs, and think of the huge pile of cash I would have!’ Here Fi uses her genie in a bottle for the well being of the planet while I use mine as a self deprecating money making venture. You're making me look bad lady!

Honestly though I am one of those “I would never change a single thing” folk. I was told once by a man who had no legs that this was a crock! I didn’t disagree with him. At the time I didn’t know how to have this debate with a man who lacked the ability to dance in the way I do. Or to walk  the way I do. Who has likely never skied or hiked, at least not in the way I have. Telling him that “everything happens for a reason” seemed ...well to say “trite” would be a gross understatement. It didn’t seem like the time to take a stand...quite the choice of words. I can not say beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I were to lose my legs, I would eventually come out the other end with my ideas around never changing the past, intact. I fully appreciate that there are things that could happen that might change my stance (isn’t it interesting how many leg metaphors are popping up?!) . But this life, with this past, is all I have to go on. To change any of it might alter who I am in this moment. I have faith in the me who sits here click click clicking on these keys. That in the grand scheme this is exactly where I am meant to be. That if I want to change things, THIS is the moment to do so, not in some imaginary time machine . I completely understand where my leg-less friend is coming from , and I am not saying he is wrong. I am also not saying miss Fi is wrong in wanting our air to be clean, our resources intact. Not at all, I would like to live in that world! I think it is ok to have both kinds of people in the world, the “wouldn’t change a thing-ers" and the “what I would do with my three wishes” types. We balance each other...no?

Oh and before I go I want to make a public apology to my thighs. I love you thighs! You are strong and sexy and I promise I will never wish you away!